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My ex used to guilt trip me into sex at night sometimes especially if i initially refused, and others he would be waiting for me in our bedroom after id come out the bath. He would rub his fingers on my vagina so roughly it would burn, and then proceed to have sex with me. He said it couldnt be rape as we were married.
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Hello @xxxdreamcatcherxxx,
Rape could happen in marriage, with the friend ( who you trusted), with boyfriend. Most of the cases it is someone you know actually and had a trust to stay in one place.
If you did not want to have sex with him, it means that it has not been consensual.
If you are married, it does not give a man an automated green light for sex always, forever and unlimited.
He also has no right to say it was not rape, as you are married. If you start rising these questions, good for you, as you are in time of realisation what is going in your life. You are at the right place.
In my case there was a nice switch – first he will force himself on me, then he would be super nice, couple times he even insisted to go straight after to the jewellery shop to get very expensive items. Or starting killing himself, as he is so much in love and can not live without me. Or treat me with blackmailing. Whatever tactic worked, first they were nice like jewellery, but very quick it turned to keep me in constant fear to control me, as nice way did not work. Nice way was a short term as he could not keep it up, too much work to pretend.
I have seen literally all the tactics which would divert my attention from his wrong doings. And confuse me from he actually is.
Now i have no sexual life at all and it comes to the long period, it gives me finally sense that my body is MINE.
For you now it will be hard time – you will start more understand about your husband and this would be painful.
But you should remember, before it gets any better, it will go worse emotionally for you. Have patience to work through, not giving up.
About rape – you can call anonymous help line and talk to them. It is very good, I was recommended this service by wonderful women here on the site. There would be someone to listen to you.
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