Was it abuse or was I being overdramatic

[P1nkk1tty]

This happened a while ago and I’m out of the situation now, however I’m only just starting to remember the things that happened to me as I repressed them for so long. I just don’t even know if it was “abuse” but it still affects me to this day.

I was in a “situationship” with this guy for (timeframe removed by Moderator), he didn’t want a relationship I did. One time we were out in a city, I was trying to hold his hand and he was holding it above my head laughing, I thought we were playing around so I tried to grab it and he got really annoyed and said (communication removed by Moderator) after knowing I have issues around my dad, he then walked off leaving me alone in a city, I followed him around and he kept speeding up until I lost him. I was sobbing alone in the middle of then city. He was messging me saying he was ending things, then changed his mind, then said he was ending it again, then said If I can find him we can stay together, and then he would say okay meet me here, I’d run there and he wasn’t there and said he changed his mind again. He said it was my fault as I disrespected his boundaries.

Another time, after making me watch his favourite (detail removed by Moderator) in my bed for (timeframe removed by Moderator) hours, he turned it off, rolled over and had his back to me, no goodnight, no hug, no nothing and I started tapping him and saying his name and he was ignoring me and I started shaking him a little bit as he was completely blanking me. I started sobbing and calling his name and he was still ignoring me, he then silently got up, got dressed, packed his bag, all whilst ignoring me and sobbing and saying sorry, he left my house and then just stood outside my front garden at (time removed by Moderator) whilst I was crying on my knees begging for forgiveness in the cold, in my underwear. After this, it was my fault he said. Another time where I didn’t respect his boundaries.

Throughout our time together, he got me to buy him loads of things as if I got him (purchases removed by Moderator) he’d show me affection and message me more and meet up with me more, flirt with me more, act like he wanted me. He used to say how he liked these (item removed by Moderator), I got him one as a suprise and it made him become a affectionate to me then it stopped so I kept getting them for him. I then mentioned to him I really wanted (item removed by Moderator). A few days later he said he had a suprise from the shop you get the (item removed by Moderator) from, I was thinking he got me one, I was so happy, I thought it mean he liked me, we met up and it was an (detail removed by Moderator) one for himself.

Other than these there were just many other things he did to belittle me, he called me ugly after we had just been intimate and I said (communication removed by Moderator) And he said (communication removed by Moderator). He would show me his really attractive friend and tell me how hot she is and say (communication removed by Moderator) and would comment on how hot she is. He told me if I didn’t stop drinking he’d end things with me. I wasn’t allowed to message him after work, or during work or in the morning otherwise he would say I was “overbearing” and “overwhelming”, I could only message him at night.

Yeah there were many other things but at this point in time I don’t remember them, they are only coming back to me now these memories. I am unsure if this is abuse but I know It was one of the worst times in my life, but I wanted his love so bad I stayed when I should’ve left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Breadandbutterpudding]

Hi, this sounds like an awful time for you I’m so sorry.

One thing I’ve learnt is that if you’re having to ask yourself if it’s abuse, then it’s definitely abuse, otherwise why would we think such things.

More memories will come back but you’ve been conditioned to doubt your own memories you probably have brain fog at the moment.

It took people a year of telling me I was in an abusive relationship that got progressively worse. They never stop, they never change. Well done for the realisation, it’s not easy

[Author]

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