Watching

[Suntree]

Just looking for advice if anyone has been here.

After he has chosen to not use his contact with the children (hooray) and remove himself from their lives unofficially.
I found out that he has now been snooping around where we live. Watching the house at the moment I don’t know if it is because he knew we were away or if it is while we are there as well.
Any advice?
Thanks

[lover of no contact]

Hi suntree,

He is looking for a reaction from you. By his behaviour he is hoping to trigger unease, fear in you and make you unsettled. Eventually and I mean after a long time of you not giving him a reaction he will tire of doing things to unsettle you but with no reaction. Patience on your part is called for. They do not give up easily. But eventually he will move onto a new victim if he’s getting ‘no kicks’ from you.

Carry on with your day. Ignore him and his antics. Don’t let him spoil this day for you. Focus on your children.

[Serenity]

He’s not getting his supply of attention right now ( from whoever or whatever), so he wants to regain some power by trying to get near you again and either exert control or create upset.

These abusers typically ‘Hoover up’ previous supply when their audience is lacking.

Ignore him. If he comes nearer, you can deal with it accordingly. Xx

[Suntree]

Thank you ladies. I was thinking along the same lines.
My next worry is that he will start to want to have his contact with the kids again as I haven’t managed to change the court ruling as we couldn’t find him to serve notice on.
Not because he cares about them but because he won’t be getting enough attention from stalking the house.

Do you think if he does I am being reasonable to refuse him unless he provides me with his working mobile number and his address and I can check it out that these are correct before they go?

[Author]

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