We can do it… little by little

[GemGem]

So I have been having a tough time, left my ex (removed by moderator) years ago. Now happily re-married to a wonderful person (that came up with it own challenges… who knew some people are wonderful beings).
I finally agreed to go off sick recently as everything was too much, after deciding to go to the police and follow the process (which will inevitably be no prosecution but at least my conscience is clear).
I am focusing on my EMDR.
I have called around this morning to the gym, the local DV services and MH services in my area. I can feel myself slipping and I am sick of feeling like I don’t want to be here anymore… I am trying my hardest to keep it together and I can’t keep feeling like this. I feel better for making phone calls and speaking to other people.
I have been showering, tidying my home and starting to make gradual healthier choices with my diet.
We have a couple of breaks booked in the next (removed by moderator) weeks which will help me no doubt to relax and have a real break.
Now I am sat on a park bench after walking around for a while, I have wrote in my journal and just finished my healthy lunch.
We can do this, it is brutal and enduring (a marathon every day) but as life goes on and we move with it, we can work through it.
Thank you for reading, I hope people realise the good they do each day for themselves… we often don’t give ourselves credit.
This is my first post and a terrible start of the day with a lot of unmanageable re-living symptoms has seemed like a better one already x

[Lisa]

Hi GemGem,

Welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing your experience. The other women here will not only relate to what you are presently going through but no doubt, be inspired.

It seems you have put a good few practices in place for self care and healing (both emotionally and physically), and that is great to know. You also mention being in touch with services that can help you navigate through this challenging time. You are doing so well and should be very proud of what you have achieved.

For extra emotional support, you may want to speak to Supportline, who offer confidential emotional support to reach people before they get to “crisis” point. They offer support by telephone, email and post. They work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self-esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life. They also keep details of counsellors, agencies and support groups throughout the UK. They cover a wide range of issues, including domestic abuse. They can also refer locally. You can contact them on 01708 765200 or visit their website here.

You can also access free online courses created by or in partnership with therapists specialising in trauma at Bloom. These courses can be accessed in your own time and at your own pace and cover topics such as trauma, abuse and boundaries.

It’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed at times right now, so do keep posting here to let us know how you get on. You are not alone, and I’m sure soon other women here will reach out to let you know that.

Take care,

Lisa

[Lifebegins]

Hi Gemgem,

Welcome and well done for posting. The first one can be hard 🤗

Similarly, I had to take a prolonged period off work a while back when I just was at the end of my tether with x years of ongoing legal proceedings. It was really rough and I felt awful and I just needed to spend some time focusing on me. I got some absolutely fantastic counselling from Womens Aid and spent the time doing some of what you’re doing, getting out for walks, eating well, lots of sleep, and just getting off the never ending wheel for a while. And it really did the trick. I hope you have the same experience. What’s good is that you’re recognising where you’re at and how you’re feeling and taking action to address it.

And yes, you’re absolutely right. We can do it. And we should give ourselves credit. It’s great to get a little reminder now and then so thank you.

Sending you a big virtual hug 🤗 xx

[pigeonperson]

Hey GemGem,

Welcome!

Wow, I really admire you for going to the police. After I left I was too scared to prosecute him because I didn’t want to go through the same humiliation as a did on a previous occasion. I think you are really brave. It’s incredibly hard doing that and I’m not surprised you need some time off work. It’s good that you realised you need to stop sometimes. I carried on regardless for way too long and totally burned myself out, so having to take a break myself now.

It’s good to hear you are eating healthy and getting some outside time, sounds like you are doing all the right things. Keeping a journal is a brilliant idea. Especially so we can look back on our bad days and remember our good days, see how far we have come and remember, it does get better.

[Author]

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