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    • #150033
      AhinaiBai
      Participant

      Hi, it’s been a while since the relationship ended. I’ve lost touch with one of my friends since then, who has recently moved near me (detail removed by Moderator). He has asked if he can move in my spare room in a couple of weeks time, only thing is, he is (detail removed by Moderator) friends with my ex. And I’m terrified I’ll come home one day and see him in my house. But at the same time I don’t want to leave my friend with nowhere to stay.
      He wasn’t around when the abuse was going on so he doesn’t know about it all. But I stopped being such close friends with him when he used to try and get me and my ex back together

    • #150038
      Needtoclarify
      Participant

      Hi, I would be inclined not to let him move in. I understand that you want to be a supportive friend but all your doing is giving access to your personal life via this friend which will be fed back to your ex.. He could even quiz your friend on what you do, where you you, know your routine. Don’t do it.

      Maybe explain to your friend that you have been through a very hard time and it would cause you worry to have the connection with your ex back in your life. If your friend is a true friend he will understand that.

      Good luck x

      • #150044
        SingleMomSurvivor
        Participant

        I agree with this advice. Put yourself & your needs first. If he’s really a friend he will understand why you are uncomfortable with him moving in. If he’s not understanding then that is useful information that will reveal a lot about him & your friendship. Trust yourself & put yourself first ❤️

    • #150047
      Eggshells
      Participant

      I agree with all the above. It is not safe to remain in touch with someone who is still in contact with your ex and a couple of weeks could so easily turn into longer.

      By encouraging you to stay with your ex he’s also demonstrated his unwillingness to respect your needs and decisions.

      Having him around could expose you to all sorts of problems beyond a surprise visit from your ex.

    • #150048
      Hereforhelp
      Participant

      I agree with all the above … him trying to get you and your ex back together minimises what you have been through with your abusive ex. If he is a friend he will understand and won’t take humbridge with you saying no to him… build up on you ❤️

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