- This topic has 7 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 4 months ago by
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Hi Ladies .Have not posted on here for a while .Just a random question and appricate your thoughts .I have rarely any contact with my Ex husband .If I have any contact with him it is purely regarding our children .He has a partner they have a child together .He knows nothing of my private life .A couple times recently he has randomly messaged me .He has sent me just random photos of just random people .The first time it happened Thought night sent message to me by mistake .The first message was sent very late night but he has sent another random photo message very recently .I have not responded to either message .Is he trying to get a reaction from me or am I over reacting ?
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He’s trying to get a reaction. Have you ever mistakenly sent two picture messages. I know I haven’t. Do not engage. Even years later these abusers will try to hoover. It’s easier to hoover up an old victim than break in a new one. Can you get an old cheap mobile and just use it for him. then you can shut it down when you feel like it. Nothing is random or a coincidence with these men.
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I agree with KIP. He did this on purpose. He could want to trigger you and if you engage with him he’s probably thinking he can triangulate you with his present partner. Nothing is random with abusers. They are very calculated in all that they do. Cunning and calculated. Be on your guard. Give him no response and no reaction.
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I got caught up in triangulation. It was so destructive for everyone. You seem wise to it but his ex was a nightmare and said I was a trouble causer etc…I actually thought she must have still loved him because of how she reactef and he wouldn’t ever tell her she was overstepping mark. Now I can see its cos he was using her to abuse me and her behaviour allowed for that….she blamed me and so did he. She wud ask I go for a visit, I went and then she didn’t even speak to me!? She demanded I call her when I said no she started shouting, going close up to my then partner, physically close like u wud a boyfriend and saying I hadn’t said hello, I wasn’t polite as she WS his child’s mother etc etc. He wud then say I had to go say hello. Even tho I actually had said hello…it was like we had to keep her happy or else…I still can’t work out if it was her that was abusive or her or both…
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Thank you Christine for your feedback .After Reading Couple Other Ladies replies and speaking to a few close friends about it thrive all said said think .He is looking for a reaction he would love nothing more than some drama to kick off between his Ex wife and partner .She no doubt has heard the worst about me according to my Ex .What I’ve heard about his partner sounds like a right fruit loop .I try to keep Well back and don’t make it public regarding my personal life .Unlike my Ex husband partner they would put there happy couple / baby photos up etc for everyone to see .Alrhough recently there are not as many happy photos etc .Maybe he’s getting restless again bored even who knows ? One thing I do know is I know deep down he can not stand to see me happy content .Not once so far have I bitten back give him reaction Regards to his partner and new baby .
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I think you are doing great to not get involved. Well done u. My ex told me his ex was saying things about me, well she was cos I saw texts she sent about me but like u say I don’t know what he was saying about me. She did want to know why I was at a party and she hadn’t been invited when I met him tho which I thought was odd and crossing boundaries. U seem more sensible though…and normal behaviour dare I say.
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