What to do with the kids

[Firsttimedivorcee]

I’ve been married for years and have 2 very young children. My husband is a waste of space. After finally seeing his abuse for what it is, he lives in the big house whilst I’m in emergency accommodation.

now here’s where it matters. When things were raw, he wanted 3 days on and 3 days off with regards to seeing the kids. I said no. It’s gone from that to every other weekend. To now being one day every other weekend. Now before there were excuses, now it’s more than obvious the kids don’t fit with his lifestyle. He wants his friends over, he wants his family over, so they’re no longer worth his time and he dumps them with me. My eldest has learning difficulties and will get very upset when he leaves. She just doesn’t understand it. I’ve asked a few times to drop back to school to make it less disruptive. But he just makes up excuses. I have evidence. But it is getting to the point where it is ridiculously difficult for her. What can I do. He is so controlling, he won’t even sign the papers. He just ignores everything. Like as if it hasn’t happened. What would you advise? Confront him, or keep collecting evidence for the courts to make a decision. Has anyone had similar experience?

[Lisa]

Hi,

Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear about your situation. A lot of abusive men use child contact in this way- it must be exhausting for you. Your safety is really important so I wouldn’t suggest confronting him but I would suggest seeking more guidance around this.

The Coram Children’s Legal Centre provide free legal resources with advice and information on all aspects of family, child and education law, including relationship breakdown; parental disputes, duties of children’s services; child protection. They can be contacted on 0300 330 5480 (10am-4pm, Mon-Fri) and through their webchat service (8:30am-5:30pm Mon-Fri).

Best Wishes

Lisa

[Author]

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