When things are good

[Chocolatebunnie]

It’s been lovely and yeah sounds funny to post this when most of you have big problems

It’s like the perfect relationship he’s been so supportive etc etc etc

I have been here before and I know I see am swept of my feet it’s how I want things to be naturally

I’m having memories of all the bad keep hitting me, I’m so frightened of this stage being over even though I know the explosion or upset probably will be temporary. I am preparing myself for it and excepting things will go hack to normal again afterwards. Just keep remembering how painful the sudden change in his behaviour towards me from the high I’m on now will be so hard.

Aren’t relationships with ups and downs?

Sounds so stupid.

[Lisa]

Hi Chocolatebunnie,

I don’t think it sounds funny or stupid to be posting this now. I actually think it’s pretty brave of you to share how you’re feeling despite worrying that it sounds stupid. So many women struggle during the “nice” phases and find things incredibly confusing.

Healthy relationships do have ups and downs, but that is markedly different from the pattern of abuse you, and other survivors, experience. These normal ups and downs don’t involve one partner abusing the other and aren’t caused by an abuser controlling how their partner gets to feel. You describe his sudden change in behaviour and being frightened of the stage being over because you’re so familiar with this pattern from him. It isn’t a normal up and down, it’s a choice he makes about how to treat you at any given time to keep his control.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[nbumblebee]

CB yet again you and I are living the same lives. Same here and I hate it every single second of it. I feel i should be grateful happy but all i feel is self hate and sadness and fear knowing it will turn not knowing when its hard its exhasting and its pants.
Hold on CB sweetie hold on xx

[Chocolatebunnie]

its the strangest feeling when they are nice, so confusing and puts me offbalance xx

[Happybelle]

I hated the feeling. The highs were good but that anticipation of the low or the anger bursts were horrendous.
I was with someone else for almost 10 years without one argument with raised voices. We disagreed but always talked it through. Yes people have ups and downs but to feel this roller coaster feeling all the time is horrific.

[Chocolatebunnie]

yes thats true i have friends who say they never argue with their partners and I cannot believe it to be true but I guess maybe they discuss things and disagree and its healthy so doesnt feel like a arguement xx

[Author]

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