Why?

[Confusedaboutit]

I’m away for a few weeks in another country. My boyfriend and I have been messaging and (removed by moderator) he was being very blunt and said he didn’t want to talk. He was being very snappy and I asked why and he said he didn’t feel well. I gave him some advice and wished him to feel better soon, however he replied with a sarcastic comment and has since been quite rude to me. He does this a lot at home but now I’m in a forgeign country for a little while it’s playing with my head. I’m surrounded by happy couples who treat each other nicely. Mine can’t even be bothered to talk to me or even act like he is. I am so upset and still won’t be in my home country for a little while to talk to him. God I feel so low.

[Lisa]

Hi Confusedaboutit,

I’m sorry to read how you’re feeling. It sounds like your boyfriend is trying to exert some power and control over you even from a distance. Sadly it’s quite common for abusers to sabotage things like trips, special events etc to ‘punish’ you for having some independence. Of course you have done nothing wrong, you are entitled to be away and in a healthy relationship it would not be a problem. Perhaps you could use this time to focus on looking after yourself, and maybe take some time to write down your feelings about the relationship, his behaviour, what you hope for… it might help you to work through your thoughts.

Kind regards and keep posting,

Lisa

[Author]

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