Why do I feel it’s me?

[Pinkflower9]

So I’ve been with my ex partner years and it’s still continuing while separated the confusion anxiety and abusive behaviouR.
He try’s to control me through the children, he tells me I have something wrong with me and I can get help, when ever I address a situation or try put a boundary in place he gets angry and says I’m always causing arguments, when he’s in the house for the children he goes through my dirty washing and checks my underwear and accuses me of sleeping with people, he gets paranoid about everything I say, even though we haven’t been together for over (time period removed by Moderator). He constantly comes to my house and when I lock the doors he bangs on the windows etc or gets the kids to open the door, I never go to his house for anything.

but when I sit back and think is this me? Because some days I will fight and shout back and other days I don’t have the energy and is what he’s saying true that I am to blame?

I try explaining that he’s in my space and it’s not fair that he is in this space causing me upset and he just says that I am abusive

 

I get so confused to what is going on and what is right or wrong 🙁

[Better-days]

Hi I don’t have too much advice I’m still with my abusive partner, iv been planning on leaving but like that I know even if we r not together he will make life difficult as possible for us. It’s herrendous that a human being can make life so hard. I don’t know the age of ur kids but hopfully once they r a little older  life will get easier and u will be free. Well done on leaving I know u don’t realise it but youv come very far. I don’t know if it’s an option but he could watch kids in his home and he shouldn’t have as much reason to cone to your home. I hope u r ok. I understand the feeling of being worn down especially at this time of year.

[StrongerSmarter]

I think most people react this way.  We are used to being told we’re doing it wrong so it must be us, right?  A therapist I met gave great advice. She said, ” it’s not you, because the abuser would never even consider them being wrong.”

Read that over! Hugs!

[Author]

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