Why do I keep being so stupid

[nbumblebee]

Yup me again.
Things havent been great with husband more of the same nasty talk sex pressure sulking etc.
My friendship with a professional who has been helping me has been a life saver just lately we have been close very close qnd its helped hold me up. But i reached out my husband has booked ua time away ans im scared so I reached out to this professional who answered with horrible words telling me i choose to stay so i deserve what i feel what i get as i choose this life. We really argued and i offended him badly and now I hqve ruined our friendship again. This happens alot he is supportive and nice and then all of a sudden isnt there anymore. I need all the help I can get my husband can be so nasty qt times and then so nice it messes me up so much.
You think you are getting better stronger happier then bang nope it hits you again.
Why do I keep doing this? Believing my husband? Reaching out to this other man time and time again. I cant let go of either and I just feel stupid and horrible and disapointed in myself. Im so useless im so angry I shouldnt have reached out and then argued with someone who is trying to help. Nothing I do is ever right x

[Stargazing1]

Your not being stupid. At the end of the day you are a person in their own right . Your other half is treating you like dirt and it’s not what you deserve. These people are despicable. You should be being treated with respect not being talked down too or pressurised into anything you don’t want to do . Your not being respected for the person that you are . As for the other person you have put your trust in something was telling you it was ok to tell them . The only trouble is just when we think this person is ok for us they let us down. This is not on you it is on them . Both of these people are disrespecting you and that behaviour is wrong. I will never understand why people can’t be helpful, why they can’t be more understanding and respect us . I know this is very very difficult for you but you are the strongest out of the people involved in this . If this person has let you down from time to time then maybe don’t tell them anything else obviously this is totally up to you just thinking of you that’s all . Stuff like this messes with our heads all the time . No wonder we don’t know whether we are coming or going. I hope you can find a path that leads to to the right people to talk to about everything because you deserve to be listened too and taken seriously. Someone who will be a crutch for you to hold onto so more strength within you grows. I hope and pray everything turns around for the better for you because it’s what you truly deserve. Take care and stay safe .

[nbumblebee]

Thank you so mucg I needed that.
Feel so alone your words meant alot. Thanks x

[Sad and alone]

Looking for support and reaching out isn’t stupid. What’s stupid is that someone you trust and knows what you’re going through has made comments like this. Yes it’s a choice to stay but it doesn’t mean you deserve to feel the way you do or be in that situation. Maybe they aren’t very experienced in this type of issue and don’t understand. If they did they surely wouldn’t say something that would upset you? Otherwise they are neither a friend or very professional.
Is there anyone else you can get support from? Don’t stop reaching out because of what’s happened. You’re not alone, we are here listening.

[nbumblebee]

I fear my reaching out has come to an end. Ive tried and it just didnt work out. As sad as it makes me im on my own.
Im so grateful @sadandalone for your words and support x

[Sad and alone]

Was this professional anything to do with your local domestic abuse support? If not maybe worth trying them? I can’t really say much at all as this forum is literally as far as I’ve gone, and I’m starting to visit it more and more recently. I tried writing a diary but it’s filled with so much depressing stuff I didn’t see the benefit. Now I just write down the worst of it. So that’s not much he’ll either!
Have you spoken to your GP? I have actually made the step to book an appointment. I have a physical problem I want to see them about but hoping I have the courage to mention this as well.
Whatever you do don’t stop reading and posting here. I always find it comforting in a weird way reading other people’s posts and recognising I am not alone.
Take care of yourself xx

[Stargazing1]

Your welcome @nbumblebee . I really hope you can find someone you can trust to talk too . Sending lots of love your way 💗.

[Bananaboat]

You’re dealing with two very similar individuals here. That’s not a friend and not a professional. You deserve better, that friend is dangling a carrot and whipping it away when you chose your husband, then turning nasty or giving you the silent treatment. Even if a friend disagrees with your choices it’s not for them to make you feel worse especially at a time you need support.x

[Stargazing1]

It’s definitely not you . This is on them . Take care and keep safe .

[Author]

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