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    • #24832
      kitty
      Participant

      My old social worker, and the dv charity I saw recently have both suggested to me that my new relationship might be abusive – based purely on the fact that my previous relationship was abusive. They have both suggested this without having any information what so ever about my partner. Why can’t they give me credit for having survived abuse and moved on. I know that sometimes patterns do emerge, but the way they go on makes it feel like its 100% certain that my new relationship must be abusive too. It feels like they don’t give me any credit for what I have achieved in breaking free. They assume that I’m weak and easily led. That gets to me as I have worked so hard to get past my abuse. How are we meant to get strong when they continue to treat us as if we were weak?

    • #24834
      WalkerInTheRain
      Participant

      Did they give you any reasons why they might suggest this?

    • #24836
      kitty
      Participant

      Just because my ex was abusive and they said I was vunerable target for abusive men.

    • #24837
      kitty
      Participant

      social worker even said “they can’t prove anything”.

    • #24841
      KIP.
      Participant

      I’d like to think they are professionals and have your best interests at heart. Women’s Aid recommend two years before beginning another relationship. I know looking back how very vulnerable I was and still am almost 2 years on. Have you given yourself time to heal from the abuse? To concentrate on yourself? To rebuild your self esteem and confidence? I didn’t know my own mind and my women’s aid worker could predict his next move before I could. In the end I listened to her, only after she told me he would assault me, and he did! They might see signs that you are missing. Keep an open mind. X

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