Why does he keep saying I’ve gone through the menopause?

[Footballfan1]

I am years off that age, I am not menopausal but he regularly texts me saying I am.
It’s mental.
I don’t respond to him.
He blocked me for weeks then suddenly unblocked me and bombarded me with messages.

He’s telling me I’m abusive towards him.
He has said this before and I pay no attention.
I know he’s deflecting his behaviour onto me .

[Hereforhelp]

It’s ridiculous how they decide to blame us.. clearly you are not menopausal and you know your own body. It sounds like your ex is throwing menopause symptoms at you to blame you for his behaviour. I am menopausal, it doesn’t cause me to be abusive, ever… also, as a man, he has no idea.how menopause affects woman..

Mine tried to blame MY behaviour (I wasn’t abusive, I was very depressed on some meds which weren’tright for me) so he blamed my medication for MY behaviour.. back then I was still with him and believed him, why wouldn’t I? I loved and trusted him…
Fast forward a year or so and I am not mental, yes I have PTSD from his abuse but I am not mental..I manage my own.mental and physical health without his input or rather put downs..

Keep ignoring him, keep all the messages he sends, maybe make the police aware? It helps them build up a picture of the abuse.
Stay strong ❤️

[Footballfan1]

Hi Hereforhelp,

Thank you for your reply.
Like you said there is no excuse for abuse no matter what you are going through.

Your ex putting it all on you, blaming the medication you were on, that’s bang out of order.

I hope you work through the PTSD, I know it can be horrific.

I think perhaps I might have it, or it might just be the shock of ending a long term abusive relationship.
I have really real dreams about my ex almost every night.
They are more vivid than average dreams.
I know PTSD can cause flashbacks during the daytime, I wonder if I’m getting them when sleeping?
Also, I can have a good few days, then suddenly I feel really sad, keep crying and feel devastated.
Next day, I’m fine again.
I’m going to look at counselling if possible.
I have a log of events I keep adding to, I’m not sure when to hand it in.
The police said I can keep a record of instances then hand it in to them rather than phoning for every incident.
(detail removed by Moderator)
Stay strong xx

[Twisted Sister]

Hi Footballfan1

Sorry you are still being harrassed this way by him.

I would suggest you take back your control, state to him that you want to be left alone and any more contact by him will be treated as harrassment and reported to the police.

He is controlling you with his un/blocking then firing all these messages at you. Its shocking how he thinks he can be firing messages like this at you, and he has no clue, it sounds like he’s using it as another way to blame you, that you must be suffering hormonally and therefore that answers everything as that would be your fault. Honestly, just block him with a warning. If you are scared to do this, which would be understandable, then speak to the police first and ask their advice, keeping copies of all the messages he sends you.

warmest wishes

ts

[Footballfan1]

Thanks Twisted Sister
He keeps blocking me, unblocking me and so on.
It’s childish.
It should be me blocking him like you said.
I only leave hom unblocked because of the children, but I have gone down the route of 0 contact for now, until the courts decide on a regular schedule.
He would refuse to bring the kids back, threaten to keep them, etc and the police said they couldn’t get them back if he did decide to keep them.

I think he is escalating again because Christmas is nearby.

[StrongLife]

This sounds difficult.

I ended up ignoring his txts and he stopped immediately. I am awaiting anything further and plan to keep anything. I used to reply and changed it some time ago.

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