Wish I was strong

[Anonymous]

I have been trying to get help to get away from my husband. But the thing is I’m so scared to talk to anyone. I keep emailing for help and I get told to ring but I can’t do it. What if he finds out? What if I don’t get believed. He come round (detail removed by Moderator) and was in a really bad mood, screaming in my face and holding me somewhere so hard it hurt. Do you think he is getting suspicious of me. I think he knows I’m hiding something. He is only living with me parttime as he won’t go completely because its he’s house. All I want is somewhere, anywhere for me to live and have the rights to tell him to get out or not even let him in in the first place. Sorry if I’m rambling I just need to get it off my chest. I will be OK but I may need to stop asking for help if he finds out just to keep the peace and hopefully he will go easy on me lol.

[nbumblebee]

Its so scarey asking for help I tried and failed for ages it wasnt until an instructor lushed and pushed ne to talk that i finally did but even then i missed out how much it hurt how much he did. That lerson sent ne to a counsellor ive been going over a year now and my husband doesnt know. I set up my own bank account and pay them through that ive asked for no paper trail i go when he is at work so he doesnt know you can even do it online if you cant get out. Dont get me wrong im scared each time i keave the house to go im scared when i return but is it worth it? Yes.
There are people out there that specialise in this and know how to keep you safe keep it a secret. If you call womans aid and he walks in you just hang up or you make out you are talking to a double glazed salesman wA know and understand.
Sometimes yes they can sence a shift in us my does and his bahaviour often gets worse i wont lie but they dont need an excuse and if they want to they will find ways of hurting us regardless he may think he knows but in reality he wont find out.
Reaching out hurts talking hurts theres no doubt about that but with this type of hurt its worth it, getting help is worth it you are worth it.
You are brave you are strong and you can do this.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for replying. I hate the fact that other women are or have experienced what I’m going through but it is nice to know I’m not alone. You are kind and I’m sorry you are going through a tough time. I’m sure we’ll get to where we want to be eventually. It just take so much energy and courage and I feel like I have neither at the moment. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. 🙏

[nbumblebee]

One step at a time one day at a time. You have been so so brave to find this forum and to share your story that takes alot of courage there are many here that just read that arent yet able to share but you have done that see you are brave and you can do it.
Contacting womans aid can be done like this faceless nobody needs to know your name or any info you dont wanna share. But only when you are ready for now read posts keep talking in here learn as much as you can as it will help you in your journy here.
We get it we get you so dont be afraid. Xxxx

[Bananaboat]

I hated that, phone us – no my body freezes when I try! Then I’d mentally beat myself up or feel trapped. But Womansaid and refuge both have online chat services, that was a great starting point. Re house, email your local council as they may be able to assist, I was in a joint rental agreement but they helped, classed me as homeless due to dv despite still living with him. For places I had no choice but to call I found doing them altogether helped, and most weren’t as bad as I feared. But I get it, I hate talking on the phone x

[Author]

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