Work discussion – feeling ashamed

[velvet-ribbon]

Ive just spoken to a manager at work and told them I think I have PTSD and that I’m seeking treatment. This happened not by my choice but because my manager was worried about me. I think I’ve been a bit obviously anxious recently and been really sensitive about everything. I feel really ashamed now, even though I didn’t give details of what’s happened to me. I’ve tried so hard to keep this stuff separate and private. I really need this job and am now terrified I will end up losing it. I had to quit my last job because I disclosed too much about my personal life.

[Cedarlemon]

Hi velvet ribbon

You have done the right thing of telling your manager you think you have ptsd , it is much better to have told them that than suffer in silence. I had to tell my manager about my situation at the time because I kept breaking down at work and couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I am in a public facing job . Please don’t feel ashamed as sometimes you can’t keep work/life situations separate and tbh most workplaces have a ‘Duty of care’ to their employees. I really do hope you get the help you need. Best wishes x

[velvet-ribbon]

Hi Cedarlemon,
Thank you for replying and for your supportive words.
I hope your employer was supportive after you told them and that things are much better now.
I was not able to tell them the cause of my symptoms so they are still in the dark about that.
I keep thinking they would never have employed me if they knew all this at the time, so I feel guilty. Also I worry about upsetting people in the office by being difficult or selfish.

[Footballfan1]

Hi,

No-one will judge you.
They most likely will support you massively.
The best thing I did was tell my boss.
I had already told my 2 closest colleagues and talk to them regularly about it.
Thus has helped me massively.
I don’t know what I would have done if I had no one to talk to and help me process it.

[tiredofitall]

Work was my sanctuary when everything was rubbish at home so I didnt want anyone to know how unhappy I was. I pretended a lot so I felt like they may not believe me or wonder why I didn’t tell them anything before but the best thing I ever did was to tell them. They’ve supported me and lifted me. And they were a bit sad that I had struggled on my own for so long without them knowing. So dont feel ashamed about what has happened to you. Its not our fault. You are doing amazing by getting up every day and trying.

[velvet-ribbon]

Thank you Footballfan1 and Tiredofitall for your replies and sorry I have taken a bit of time to reply. It’s encouraging to hear that opening up to work was a positive experience and that it helped you. I hope you’re both OK.
I’m not sure it’s safe for me to disclose any details to my work, even though part of me wants to tell people. My child is also part of the organisation where I work, if that makes sense, which could raise concerns even though what happened to me was in the past, with the person I’m still with. In my mind I now can’t distinguish between past and present which is confusing. In my last workplace I was told it was unprofessional to bring it up and I was shamed in front of my colleagues for this, so I’m terrified of making that mistake again.

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