Work Panic

[Anonymous]

I have to go to an event for work this evening and I have been dreading it for weeks. I have to (detail removed by moderator) as part of my job and it used to be fine but now I feel like I’m going to die. Sounds dramatic but I feel trapped and stressed and terrified. I can’t breathe and my heart pounds and it’s horrible.

Since splitting with my ex I haven’t been able to enjoy anything that I used to love because he would always ruined everything.  (detail removed by moderator) was one of my passions and now I can’t face being trapped inside (detail removed by moderator) for hours on end with no way of escaping. I feel like he will get me, which is stupid because he won’t, but my anxiety and panic overrules any logic.

I really don’t want to go but I don’t know how to explain this to senior management without them thinking I’m trying to slack off. I know I am feeling like this because of my PTSD but it doesn’t stop the panic that is rising in me.

I really don’t think I can go. What do I do?

[Dragonfly]

Hey, sorry you’re going through this. Do people at your work know about your situation? You could pretty much just say what you’ve said o here? If it’s causing you major stress then don’t go, you’re not ready for it. If you do decide to go is there anyone there that could support you?

[Amaguq]

Hi Tiredone,
Hugggggssssss
I can relate so much with this post (I do with very many)

Panic attacks are awful things, I tend to find the panic prior attending anywhere is far worse than the actual event.

You stated ” (detail removed by moderator) was one of my passions” try and focus on that passion, it sounds like it is a safe place and if need be, have an excuse ready, if you feel the need to leave. It sounds like it is a safe place, he can’t get to you, focus on that passion 🙂 We can’t allow them to control us any longer.
Take care xx

[Lightness]

I wonder if you could go along – but if you have a panic attack, tell them you feel sick and leave? You may find that having a way to escape actually calms you down because it allows you to take control of the situation. x

[Anonymous]

Apologies, my last message didn’t post.

I sobbed on a colleague and she spoke to senior management so I didn’t have to go. My manager has taken me off of all future venue visits until I feel ready to do them again. He has been a rock throughout this whole s**t storm. He gave me my job back and is helping me get therapy through work.

I hope that with proper help I can start living again. I get so annoyed with myself that I can’t do anything without freaking out. Everything is a trigger and I’m angry all the time. A year on I still don’t feel like myself. I want to get the old me back.

[Dragonfly]

You sound just like me at the mo. I’ve just gone back to work this week (phased return) after an angry outburst at work previously. I get very stressed and annoyed with people. Like they’re not listening or dismissing me. I’ve managed to get counselling through work which is helping. Like you I’m almost a year on too and want normality.

It will happen x

[Anonymous]

What triggered you? Are your colleagues being supportive? Do you find that the smallest inconvenience makes your blood boil? I find that I feel attacked a lot of the time. I realise, long after the fact, that it probably wasn’t a dig or that I had misread an email, but by that point I’m already seething.

I have a lot of confidence issues and it affects my work. I always have to get approval from my boss. I am slowly getting better at making my own decisions. I can still hear all the put downs from my ex and it’s taking a long time to forget him. He’s seeped into every pore and it’s so hard to get over him completely.

Have you had any contact with your ex? Do you find being “normal” at work exhausting?

[Author]

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