Would you believe

[Anonymous]

Your abusers ex partner if they told you there story? Xx

[Neverthoughtitwouldbeme]

I’m not sure I would if I was the abuser’s new partner as it would be likely that I had already started to be abused, not physically but in terms of the abuser convincing them to believe everything they said, setting traps, planting seeds etc.

I tried to tell my abuser’s new partner and even sent evidence and she still continued to take him on.

I couldn’t get my head round it and was worried for her but I did everything I could and she still didn’t believe me.

I think abusers are so good at portraying themselves in a certain light and sometimes people believe that they can change a person that sometimes it doesn’t get through. I think they can only find out for themselves sadly.

Sorry if this is not the answer you are hoping for but I’m being honest based on my situation.

Sending love xx

[LookToTheLight]

My husband told me a totally different story to what actually occurred with his ex; she never spoke to me about him as the didn’t get on, if she had said something I would have listened as his abuse started within (detail removed by moderator) of putting a ring on my finger & I found out she had dealt with similar instances. Some may say things to spite you & his new relationship but it’s always good to keep an open mind. x

[Wants To Help]

Knowing what I know now, then I would listen and believe there is some truth in it. Prior to educating myself about abuse I would have thought she was a woman scorned who was just trying to sabotage us because she was jealous.

I remember trying to warn my ex’s new girlfriend about him, and to her, this initially just confirmed I was a n*****e because that’s what he’d told her about me. In the first few months she actively helped him in trying to get custody of my son and said she’d help raise him. She finally learned for herself what he was like and she suffered with him worse than I did.

If you are seeing the signs in him that his ex is warning you about then take note of this, don’t dismiss them or minimise them.

[Watersprite]

Yes I think I would. Leopards don’t change their spots. Have you thought of asking police for a right to ask under clares law or domestic violence disclosure service? You can ask 101 or maybe even online they are fairly quick and discreet and can tell you if concerns have ever been reported? Take care x

[Bananaboat]

Knowing what I know and the experiences I’ve had, I would listen, but at the start of this relationship his ex did try to warn me and I didn’t listen. Partly his act of making out she was crazy, part me thinking I could help (urgh right) and partly due to those pesky love hormones which blind you. If you’re asking because you want to warn your ex’s new partner then be prepared for her not to listen or even give you grief in return, if you’re asking because someone is trying to warn you…then listen, look for the red flags and make your own mind up

[Whyohwhy]

I didn’t believe the stories when I was with him because he painted his own picture which I believed, but now I think that there was more truth to their stories than his. But going forward into new relationships I will definitely give an ex the benefit of the doubt and run a mile (I hope!).

[Author]

Posts