Hi Dobedo,
I’m so sorry to hear how you’re feeling: it’s important to remind yourself that the fault is always with the abuser. I understand the continual guilt – I have been separated from my former boyfriend since (detail removed by moderator) and I still often feel guilty about a lot of things despite the fact that I know his behaviour was so terribly wrong. I was emotionally abused for over half of our relationship and also sexually assaulted. Because it was a (detail removed by moderator) romance and my first relationship, I think it’s caused a lot of trauma which I still need to work through. Sometimes I feel like I’m a bit bonkers because I still feel this way, but I am reassured that recovering from trauma is not a linear process and it takes time. Remember to take things one step/one day at a time. Be proud of the small achievements in your recovery and celebrate them. And it may be worth reaching out to a counselling service if you feel like that would be something that could help – I am considering it myself and I have heard positive feedback from others about this!
Sending hugs and strength x
