I’ve been on a (detail removed by moderator) road to get here supported by womens aid, my parents and my friends. My oh is all about power and control, money, the kids, gas lighting, threatening me with social services so I found a route out. I tried to talk to him about the marriage and the fact its ended , I have over the last couple of weeks tried a number of times. I get completely stonewalled then get a torrent of personal abuse. My last attempt was (detail removed by moderator). He refuses to leave as he owns 50% of the house that was his first reason and then turned it into the fact hes terrified of me and my kids are terrified of my raging temper etc… and the stupidest thing is even though I know this I lies I still sort of believe it. So now I’m almost ready to go and I’m wracked with guilt at destroying my kids childhoods , my eldest can see what happens but my youngest in enthralled to his father who his dad has cultivated. Part of me wants to pretend that this isnt happening then I think of all the nasty stuff he says to me and how desperate I feel when this happens how I wish I wasnt here… then I think no I need to leave, then I feel guilty about that !!!