I watched a video recently about long term grief after abusive relationships. I’m relatively new out of it, just a couple of years. But I find it to be true. The grief and sadness will visit from time to time. But the pain will lessen. I’m much better now at just acknowledging the emotions without adding any more tension to it. These emotions don’t last forever. Love them, acknowledge them and they’ll recede. In the meantime, continue to cultivate joy and growth. You can do that much better now that abuse is out of your life.