It’s been a month or so since I got ‘free’…but I recognise I am not free in so many ways.There is a sadness with that. I feel sad, lost in a sense of grief that everything I thought, perhaps even the ‘good’ was just a mirage. I have spent most of my life with him. I watched some drama on tv and I couldn’t stop crying for all the sadness that right now, I cannot foresee a happy ever after…or a ‘happy’ for me…despite my freedom.I feel like I sound ungrateful, but I just feel that cognitive dissonance…that trapped between what I tell myself and what has been reality…I’m exhausted. I just have nobody to share this with, because I am too tired to speak and too confused to make sense of it…but I know so many of you in here will understand that feeling I talk of.
I just needed a space to share that…I don’t know what I am even expecting to hear other than what I think I know.