Does anyone who hasn’t left, feel they won’t be able to leave?

Your post stopped me in my tracks today. Because yes me.
I hate my life I dont wanna wake up each morning I dont want him to come home from work and that makes me a terrible terrible person but its true. In my heart I dont believe i will ever leave theres a force here that keeps me frozen and i cant ever see me getting out.
But I am trying to claw back slowly. I got a job for the firat time i had to do it all behind his back which made me feel so sick but I did it and I love it. Yes he has upped his abuse its so much worse than ever and every day he tells me not to work im not even allowed to talk about my day like he does but i still go because i need it. Its a small victory for me.
These men take so much from us they beat us down so low we are left just a shadow of who we used to be we have got to start to try and claw ourselves back up. Take baby steps sweetie make a plan a list start today small steps that will all add up one day it doeant matter how long it takes you as long as you make a start.
Somewhere inside you is that woman you were neant to be and she needs to come out so help her. Reach out to womans aid qho can help you with a plan advise you on finances and places to stay you dont have to be alone.
They make us feel we dont deserve a life dont they? This is what i struggle with the most I feel I deserve this life Im a bad person and I deserve to live this, but I am working really hard to try and change this i know i am the only person thats really stopping me feom leaving so I with a counsellor am trying hard to see a light to find self esteme and self worth.
I dont believe you deserve this life or anyone on here just myself.
People can help us but in reality only we can make the changes in ourselves that are needed for us to break down those forces that are keeping us here. You arw not alone you dont have to do this alone but you do have to make a start yourself. You can do it sweetie you can. Start now make a list make a plan start to take small baby steps out. Sending you much love, stay safe x

My situation is very similar to yours. One of the things that holds me back is having no one to support me. I don’t have family and although I have friends, they don’t live particularly close and wouldn’t be the same as family if I needed support, so this really keeps me trapped here. It will be helpful for me to see the replies to your post, thank you xx

Have you tried your local Domestic Abuse services?
Mine were amazing, I had someone I could and still can talk to through the whole process of leaving, when I am having doubts I could txt her, when I felt really bad I would call her.
I am lucky to have family support, but actually I really needed that person who understood abuse to support me in ways my family could not.
nbumblebee is right, the only way is baby steps, one step at a time, don’t think too large overwise its too overwhelming.
x*x

I can totally relate to your situation ..I’ve been with my partner for many years now ,I managed to leave him and move out after my first daughter was born ..he would come to my house and harass me daily ,in the end I moved back in with him ..years later we’ve now moved away and I have 0 family here ..no support .I don’t have the mental strength anymore to do something about it .I’m scared of being on my own ..no transport to leave

I think that we still live in a powerfully patriarchal and sexist society. It’s really positive that you recognise the behaviour of your partner as abusive, Darknessallaround.

So often we normalise abuse, we allow it, because the alternative seems too terrifying. We’ve given up our freedoms to become mums, our circle of friends is nowhere to be seen because of the isolation. We don’t consider the sexual coercion as rape.

My mum stayed with my dad. I thought I’d made my bed when I married my ex.

There are many reasons to stay and leaving an abusive relationship is such a dangerous time.

Please keep posting here, and contact your local Women’s Aid. The Domestic Abuse Team on 101 will be able to guide you to local services. Nobody will tell you to leave.

Nobody ‘just leaves’ an abusive relationship. It’s planned and orchestrated. It’s an escape.

I was stuck in an abusive relationship for many years sort of pretending it wasn’t happening, and resigning myself to it. My ex’s behaviour turned a corner and I knew I had to get divorced. It was a terrifying time. He was in full Narc mode. I couldn’t have got out without the support of others who’d been through the process.

Please remember that you’re not alone. We’re all stronger than we could ever imagine. Baby steps. We’re all here in the same boat. xx

Hi beautiful ladies,
I have just read all of your posts above and it breaks my heart, my love goes out to you all
The fact that you are all living how you are, shows you are amazingly strong women
I have lived that life of survival, pleasing a man who is abusive and not knowing when it will end or how it will end and its hard work
I just want to tell you that there is hope … it can end
However little progress you think you are making don’t ever give up hope that your life can change
You don’t even need to know how it can change just please believe it can… blind faith!
You all deserve to be happy and safe
Sending you continued love and support
Darcy xx