Hi Icandothis
It really does sound like you candothis! You’re right. I don’t believe you need anyone to advise you on this, you acted to protect yourself in talking with his ex wife and it absolutely confirmed what you’d been turning yourself inside-out over, his abuse.
He’s never forgiven you for that, end of. Just for that alone you can’t stay around someone who speaks like this, its toxic, just making those hollow promises. Easy words, that he can fulfil.
You don’t believe there’ll be any change and knowing this means you face accepting one thing, that you can’t continue with him in any way. He’s just desperately flailing around dealing with the consequences of everything that he brought down upon himself by abusing you and your son.
you’ve got this, Icandothis
warmest wishes
ts