Well, to an abuser the answer to that question is, when they’re being honest, only if you’re saying what I want to hear.
They do say if you want to get to know if a new partner is okay, try saying no or voicing a different view a few times.
Was that partner he was comparing you to the same one who took steps to protect herself and keep him away from her? If so, please DO keep being like her. He might call it as insane or irrational, but likelihood is that she had good reasons to do what she did.
It sounds like you dodged a bullet saying no to him moving in. Even without what he told you about his ex, this doesn’t sound like a man who is respecting your boundaries.
Are you still with this man.