- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 1 week, 5 days ago by
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Hi Sweet4,
Thank you for your post. its good that he is getting that support but your safety is really important- there is no justfication for domestic abuse and often accessing support can form part of a pattern- and the cycle of abusive behaviour continues.
If you aren’t already I would encourage you to link in with your local domestic abuse service. they can provide you with ongoing support around what is happening and assess your safety if needed.
Take care and keep posting
Lisa
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Hey sweet4,
Just be careful. I think everyone has done this, possibly even more than once. I did it 3 times. Supported them. Held them when they cried … went with them for support. It never lasted long before things went bad. I would justify their behaviour saying things like “it’s not them, they are just depressed etc …”. I totally understand this feeling but be kind to yourself and set some boundaries. Any red flags and get out.
Your safety is paramount.
Being depressed is never a justification for abuse.
Lastly, don’t let anyone judge you. We know why we go back and unless you’ve been in this situation it’s really easy for people to say “I don’t get what you see in them” etc…Have you looked into trauma bonding? I’m realising that in my situation I had a trauma bond. It’s a really hard thing to accept but have a read.
Love yourself. This is a scary road. Trapped with them, trapped without them. It is very rare that an abuser changes but I hope in your case this is wrong and that you are all very happy.
Remember, none of this is your fault.You deserve love.
People want to support you.
Try not to isolate anyone.
Take care and stay safe x*x
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