- This topic has 6 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 1 week ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
-
Hi sweet4,
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. It sounds really difficult and confusing. I know you’re not alone in still living with your abuser after separating, hopefully some of the other women will be able to reply and share their experiences with you soon.
Take care and keep posting,
Lisa -
-
-
Oh dear, i think they change with age, i really dont have any other excuse for them, mines is just about to take me car, yes its in his name, i just started a new job, (timeframe removed by Moderator) weeks ago, and i cant get there by bus, its a (distance removed by Moderator) drive by car, so its his controlling, how do you think this is making me feel, thers a letter on the table, stating, hes asking for a settlement figure,text my support worker for a call, today as im falling apart.
Nowornever, at least, you have somewhere to flee, im stuck ,in this house living with my abuser, and i cant leave, as i have nowhere else to go.
-
Although I know we are all living with our abusers at some point how does it even work after you’ve separated? Do you just carry on as normal, sharing meals etc, or do you live completely independently from one another? I’m so sorry. It’s so difficult, all of it. At least you’re making moves to get out.
I don’t know how they change either. Although some opinion is that they were never nice and always knew what they were doing. But I find that hard to believe. I used to feel so loved and cared for which in turn means you love and care for them. He changed after a few years. Always felt like he was controlling but I was very young and didn’t object as saw him as looking after me. He then said he wasn’t buying me presents any more for occasions as he thought he’d spoilt me. Again I wasn’t too bothered as I didn’t want for anything and I wasn’t a child, but in retrospect it was a very weird stance to take, to not even get a token gift to celebrate things. Now it’s degenerated into an almost permanent state of misery as he accuses me of things and vice versa. I don’t feel I can leave just yet but equally cannot let myself stay with this person. He’s not the person I married or committed to. It’s very sad. And sad that the end is so complicated too, whereas a “normal” couple would recognise when they’re relationship had had its day and not keep flogging a dead horse.
-
It is very very sad, im mourning, part of the sad process, of losing that person, you grew up with, he was my soul mate, thats (number removed by Moderator) decades, gone, now i need to stay strong, and yes the unfortunate of having to live in the same house with him, the separation, was very slow, we drifted apart, i stopped cooking for him, he started doing his own washing etc, it just all fell into place.
It really all affected me last year.
Now, its been a very long time, and having to go up to my bedroom, every night, when he comes in from work, i hate it, i really hate it, so i have contacted ,,,,,,,,,,,,, to see if they can get me some sort of accommodation. Its gut wrenching, having to not live really, yes he is not the person i married, it controlling and emotion abuse, and its time for me to get a life, keep talking,xx
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
