Hi, I’m new to this site, but not new to abuse. (detail removed by moderator) years of it and trying to get out now. I am at the start of trying to educate myself about why I am still in this situation, what it has done to me and how the dynamic actually works. I’d never heard of trauma bonding until now. But it does make perfect sense. Any sort of emotional intensity binds people together. Police and ambulance workers are often counselled about it. But when you are young and trusting and don’t know anything about relationships, it’s a glue an abuser can and does use.
Plausible deniability. Oh yes, very familiar with this. Gaslighting and denial, flipping it back on me as if I’m the one who’s inconsistent or lying or mad. Mostly mad. That’s a good one, that’s one men use alot!
Cognitive dissonance. Yep. Why do I feel so lonely when I’m with him? Why does the man who says he loves me say such awful things to me. And why do I put up with it?
I’m not sure what the last one is, but I’d guess I’m familiar with it too!