Hi,
I begun by trying to bolster my self confidence. Very slowly and in tiny amounts. I used affirmations quite a lot, even bought affirmations wordsearch and colouring books. Little things like ‘I am kind’. ‘I am caring and loving’. I feel this has helped me to be able to set boundaries, knowing that there’s nothing wrong in saying no to some things, and that doing what makes me happy, and is good for me is not a bad thing to do.
I treated myself really well too. Taking pamper days and rest days, and totally refusing to feel guilty for it. If I begun to feel guilty I replaced that thought with ‘I deserve this. I do.’
I also use aromatherapy roll ons. I have ones called Happy, Focus, Energy, Support and Comfort amongst others. I don’t know the science, or if they really do work; all I know is that they work for me. If that is only because I believe they do, and for no other reason, they still help. 🙂
I also educated myself on abuse and abusers, reading and watching videos. Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft really opened my eyes and Living with the Dominator is another that gets recommended a lot.
You will get there. x