25th August 2019 at 5:57 pm #86441EscapeeParticipant
This is one for those that have managed to leave are miraculously moving on….
How do you retrain yourself? I’ve sat down and thought about how my behaviour and responses have been changed by my situation. How do I relearn what is appropriate in a situation?? My first response to every situation is to be subservient; the other day I was told to please stop apologising – I responded by saying sorry! 🙄. That’s a light hearted one but there’s some serious programming that I need to undo but I don’t really know how to press the reset button!
Any ideas, advice, books to read that you could recommend? Xx
25th August 2019 at 11:20 pm #86468EbonyRavenParticipant
I begun by trying to bolster my self confidence. Very slowly and in tiny amounts. I used affirmations quite a lot, even bought affirmations wordsearch and colouring books. Little things like ‘I am kind’. ‘I am caring and loving’. I feel this has helped me to be able to set boundaries, knowing that there’s nothing wrong in saying no to some things, and that doing what makes me happy, and is good for me is not a bad thing to do.
I treated myself really well too. Taking pamper days and rest days, and totally refusing to feel guilty for it. If I begun to feel guilty I replaced that thought with ‘I deserve this. I do.’
I also use aromatherapy roll ons. I have ones called Happy, Focus, Energy, Support and Comfort amongst others. I don’t know the science, or if they really do work; all I know is that they work for me. If that is only because I believe they do, and for no other reason, they still help. 🙂
I also educated myself on abuse and abusers, reading and watching videos. Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft really opened my eyes and Living with the Dominator is another that gets recommended a lot.
You will get there. x
28th August 2019 at 4:51 am #86634EscapeeParticipant
Ebony Raven – thank you so much x*x
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