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    • #15202
      Confused123
      Participant

      We dont speak at all, fri night he sent me a text saying he misses me which i saw on sat morning, have ignored even though i have temptation to reply to him that im sure by next week he willhate me again , but just left thinking why send message to me saying that when i was with u , u treated me like c**p. Banged into ex family tonight at our plce of worship. Wasnt that bad as i feel a lot more confident to say to his family we not together anymore so i dont know how he is , hate when people are trying to be nosy and just get details out of u what happened, i have decided i just tell people firmly i prefer not to talk about it and will tell them that, but just hate how u feel afterwards , had quite few people in community been nosy, but again i just remain quiet and didnt disclose nothing. It irrates me now how ex family told me ex is in a bad way, he really loved the kids , its ashame the drink got that out of control and he didnt stop, hated how this one member of family said so are u just sitting at home doing nothing, i was so shocked with the way she just generally made the comment, again i said no im not just sitting at home im moving on with my life, again bit my tongue and didnt insult any one as again they were just trying to get information out of me about my lifestyle. Its horrible when they try to be nice to u but just leave u feeling s**t , i personally feel like my idenity has been stolen now im not with him , im just alone with my kids , again recently all i think about is how he has stolen my confidence, how and when he did such a good job disbeleifs me , i was talking to a close friend on weekend and she said i just dont know how to help u , can only listen but even thats draining, so i sort of said then dont ask, so greatful i have u ladies on here to talk about how i feel, supoose in time the confidence comes back , he just made me feel so boring and unsoicable that now when i do have to socilaize i get parnoid

    • #15204
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      Well done for not rising to the bait! That shows you how strong you are 🙂

      I know the feeling of friends saying stuff like that – they luckily have not been through it so don’t understand. It can be frustrating none the less.

      I also know how you feel with the confidence. I was starting to feel more confident but it’s taking a dip recently. The healing is a long process. We eill get there.

      My ex would always describe me as boring and say people were talking about me so I do feel paranoid in social situations still. In reality they are the ones who are boring – they use the same old tired tactics. They have nothing in their lives without putting other people down. They are the ones who are pathetic. We will be strong one day but they will remain the same xx

    • #15210
      Confused123
      Participant

      HI Hope Springs

      Isnt it horrible how we end up beleiving there lies, sometimes u just dont know if u should tell there family exactly what u think of your evil ex or just stay quiet , either way i just feel like c**p after and there lines just stay in my head, his in a bad way, well so was I but still had to keep going and what do they expect me to say and do , hasnst my life been destroyed enough , i find myself thinking about our realtionship, just tires me out , i tried so hard to make it work yes the fact that he wanted to kill me is what made me walk away but why should i have to justify myself. Not like they understand. Im glad i didnt reply to ex, just have to get him and his family out of my head again

    • #15224
      Hopesprings
      Participant

      there will come a time when it won’t matter to you what these people say.

      I remember a family member of his sending me a letter a few months ago. I was so angry. I think if I was to receive one now I would just bin it without even being curious to read it.

      We just need to build on our self esteem it takes time.

    • #15262
      Serenity
      Participant

      Sorry that people are saying things that are so insensitive and ignorant, Confused.

      Rise above it- you know the truth, and what continued hell it would have been staying with him.

      X*x

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