- This topic has 16 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
Hi, I’ve been reaching out a fair bit recently struggling with different things. I have some more challenges ahead with my situation BUT, I’ve decided that in 2023 I will positively influence what I can. I would love to hear what intentions you are setting. It could be the smallest of things , all that matters is, it’s something positive to you personally.
Mine is, work on my personal appearance and health. I want to concentrate on having a good time and putting my past behind me. Now that’s not all plain sailing as I do have stuff from my past thats not yet been dealt with. BUT,it’s not going to define me. I’m making my abusive past the smallest part of my life and prioritising me and those I love.
I hope everyone that reads this can set an intention for yourself. However small it is, make it count, you deserve it x
-
Thank you strongenough. I am not quite there yet but your message reinforces that we can all try to make small changes. I am reading books about control and the situation I find myself in.I have been through a lot for years and years which has affected me in every way.
However in 2023 I want to build on my confidence and knowledge.
I am learning so much about control , abuse and my response to it.
I am trying to make sense of why I was so frightened, why I didn’t leave and why I tolerated so much from him as well as his family.
I know this is an uncertain and difficult journey but hearing positive messages is so uplifting and I too am trying not to be defined by my experiences. -
Great to hear your intentions @reallyconfused. Understanding, then accepting what we have experienced is such a big part of the healing process. Although it’s difficult when you are going through it, it’s a progressive step towards recovery. Keep moving forward and take care. 🌈❤️
-
Hi Strongenough,
This is a great post, thank you.
My goals are similar to yours, I want to get fit, exercise, I bought resistance bands that will be delivered soon.Make better food choices, drink more water.
At work I sit and drink coffee all day, I don’t even want it, I do it as a routine.
I’ve bought some herbal teas, peppermint, green tea etc and I’m going to drink those instead.I really want to redecorate the house, it will be a challenge, I work fulltime, have the kids to bring up alone etc..
I’ll save up to do my bedroom first, this is the worst room.
That is where most of the abuse happened, the anger, throwing and hitting objects.
I hate waking up to the sight of it every morning.I’m also saving for my own car next year.
I already booked a holiday in the summer, just me and the kids.
I need a car to get their now!
At least booking the holiday is am incentive to get a car.
Xx -
Footballfan1,
What great intentions, it sounds like you are redesigning a life for you and your kids. I remember our first trip away after we left. It wasn’t far away but to be on holiday without anyone going in a bad mood, constantly trying to manage someone else’s bad behaviour, was absolute bliss and we had a ball!
Thanks for reminding me about the water intake, I always feel better when I drink more water but like you, seem to drink coffee all day at work! I’m adding that one to my plan.
-
What you described sounds like heaven!!!
I bet you all had an amazing time.
Not having a car has been challenging, we shared a car before and I’d take the kids out for day trips.
It was always challenging though, ex accused me of meeting other men, with the kids in tow!!
I remember ringing my mum on the way to one day trip, I was in floods of tears.
Ex was meant to come with us, but he was awful, in a foul mood.
I packed the (detail removed by moderator) secretly, got the kids and just went.
He rang me constantly, I kept pulling over to talk.
He was telling me to come back, I was scared of the repercussions but I refused to go back.
I rang my mum upset and she said she would have come with me.You know what, ex left an answerphone really nice, saying he was sorry, etc.
I was so happy to hear that message.
Looking back I know now it was because I stood up to him.
That was my first taste of Freedom and defiance towards him.
I thought I’d be in for it when I got home, but he was nice for a while.
I obviously spooked him with my defiance xx
-
-
Hi my relationship ended (detail removed by moderator) I changed my life almost instantly I would like to think .i have a small job and bought a little car.it’s not perfect but it’s enough .next year I hope to buy A bigger car and have more working hours as I didn’t want to put myself into work full time knowing what I’ve been through .i hope to then be earning enough money for a better life and also be able to take my kids on a short trip in the car as I’ve not got that far with my driving yet maybe I’ll make that a challenge.i also plan to get a new home and decorate it so here’s to next year
-
That’s lovely to hear Mellow.
Try practicing the trips alone if you are able, then you know where you are going when you do take your children.Driving further afield will take practice, just take your time, and give yourself plenty of time to get to your destination.
I can’t wait until I can afford my own car, I haven’t driven for months, I’m hoping I don’t get too scared and bottle it when I finally get the car.
I let ex have the car when we split.
-
-
-
-
Tiredofitall,
I totally feel you! I’ve had some chances over the past while to do so and it feels amazing. I’ve travelled abroad and for a whole week just lived in the moment and enjoyed myself knowing that my ex couldn’t be lurking in the shadows there like he does here.
I’m hoping to do the same in 2023, I have reflection moments often now in our safe little home where I say, “I can’t believe we have all this freedom”. Go get your goals! X
-
What a great post…. positive intentions… I have worked o my fitness and appearance, I’m redecorating our home, I have saved and ordered some furniture… I intend to keep moving forwards, to maintenance my fitness… i start a 1 to 1 personal therapy and I intend to get my MH better and reduce one of the medications I am on for PTSD (under GP guidance)…
❤️
Ps.. for me meeting up with new women has been very positive and I now have 2 new friends ☺️ they don’t know the details of my abusive marriage but I told them the bare bones.. it is so nice to meet up as the woman I am now ❤️ -
-
-
-
-
I want to be kinder to myself.
This is probably the first real time I’ve had off work since leaving and I finally recognise I’m doing way too much, and the knock on impacts of that ripple throughout my home, health & kids. Not sure of the how yet, but in 2023 I’m going to learn to accept I can’t (and shouldn’t have to) do it all and that’s ok 🙂
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
