** years

It’s always possible. You have a right to live free of abuse, its classic isn’t it, that the woman feels she has to put up with this because he’s a very poorly man.

This is abuse in a nutshell, we feel sorry for them because of their manipulations… Please report your post to Lisa to remove the identifying details of length of marriage and anniversary. Many women are stalked on line, he is capable of so much more than you necessarily see. Because there has been physical ‘in the past’ doesn’t mean that won’t be in the future.

I think it’s been very brave of you to post and reach out, when you are someone normally on the other side of it, but you have been in the same boat as the women you help. Now it’s your turn.

You are so welcome here and please do keep posting to help you process all that’s been happening and your rights to expect a normal life, as that’s not, even those you have learnt t live with it, its time to unlearn!

Warmest wishes ts

To have done what you have supporting him all this time, living under his abuses, survivib, is strength.

All whilst supporting others, the strength you need is to demand equal treatment for yourself, to feel supported, helped, cared for.

Warmest wishes ts

You are so welcome. Do keep posting if you feel up to it. I have reported your posts to have the identifying elements altered/removed.

Hey, I was with my abuser longer and I managed to break free. It’s a mental trap we live in. Leaving should be on your radar. Even if you’re not abused and are just unhappy. You’re entitled to leave and make yourself happy x

I wasn’t married to my ex partner, thank god. And we had no children. Yet I stayed with him for over (Detail removed by Moderator). It was physically abusive in the beginning. But when he realised the threat of it was enough to keep me submissive, he satisfied himself with intimidation.

My ex has mental health problems. For a long time I blamed his behaviour on that. I am a carer, a nurturing person, and he played in that. It’s weird isn’t it how we can be terrified of someone yet feel sorry for them. My ex was clever and manipulative. He could play me like a fiddle. The problem was I genuinely loved him and hoped my love would help him. I came to see his true colours in the end. N********c and sociopathic. He wouldn’t let me have normal relationships with other people. Isolated me from everyone. So our messed up dysfunctional relationship became normal. That’s what they do. You then think you can’t function in the real world. It’s a big fat lie to keep you trapped

I know it’s scary. Change is frightening. But look at what your doing to your mental health. You had a life before him. There is a life without him. I was petrified, but I did it. I get anxious yes. But life is a million percent better now then it was with him. Believe in yourself. Know your strength. They hold on to us so tightly, because they need us. Not the other way round. Your the strong one. X*x