(Detail removed by moderator) years after leaving and affecting me now

Hello. I am new here and got out of an unhealthy relationship over (detail removed by moderator) years ago and in a new relationship now with a wonderful partner, although I definitely have changed as a person due to what has happened with my previous partner. I am stronger yet sometimes I don’t like myself, I feel bad as I am often nagging and complaining if things he has done aren’t perfect – it’s like I know feel I deserve perfection, even though I know that is impossible. And he really is so lovely and kind. And I used to be so much more easy going!

I only realised recently how bad my previous relationship was. I blamed him drinking, his family, myself. He could be so charming and loving, spoiling me, all the typical signs of an abusive man. He started controlling what I couldn’t do, who I couldn’t see. I was in constant fear if he had a drink. He would regularly call me disgusting things, make up lies about myself. If we went out he would come back saying he saw me flirting with other men or that I’d been drinking so I couldn’t drive away (even though I hadn’t been drinking), he would shout at me saying how dare I leave the room. He was delusional when he had been drinking. He would start arguements for no reason, based on lies he made up. He would kick me in my sleep and I often had bruises on my arms from where he would stop me leaving his house (we didn’t live together but I stayed with him most of the time). One really bad time on a holiday, he chased me into the ensuite (which didn’t lock!) and then threw me onto a solid floor and I cut my head and got a black eye, he showed no remorse and said how dare i run away from him and shout at him, even though I was crying at him to calm down and that he had really hurt me. He would steal my bag and keys off me so I couldn’t leave. One night I managed to get them back off him and leave and he chased me to my car, I was so scared. That’s when I knew I had to leave him. But even then took me a month or so to really make up my mind as he begged and begged for me to forgive him. He then called my  (detail removed by moderator) and made up more lies about me, and tried to get sympathy and they both don’t have a great relationship with alcohol. I’m so glad I left when I did, I have no doubt that things could have got even worse. I completely understand now, how hard it is for people to leave these kind of relationships.

I later found out he had been doing drugs in secret, even though there were always rumours he would always deny it and I used to believe him. One evening I wasn’t there he went out drinking and got into a fight, he ended up getting put into an ambulance in handcuffs and they found lots of drugs in his system. He also told me that a previous partner lied and reported him to the police for being violent towards her but he always told me it was her being abusive towards him. Now I realise this was all lies. Is there anything I can do to back up her statement, or anything so that if he gets reported again, that it is taken seriously.

Sorry for the long message but I am hoping by writing it all down, that it may help me feel better.