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Its been (detail removed by Moderator) since we moved into our new house and almost (detail removed by Moderator) since I decided the marriage was over. (detail removed by Moderator) my daughter had a little party at our new house for her birthday and afterwards, she was full of happiness and it just hit me, that this would never have happened in the ‘old’ life. His moods, his need to control everything. It would have been all about what he wanted and we would never have been free to just ‘be’. The small moments every day that we are just able to be ourselves without the voice of someone criticising your every move. No more dreading waking up because you knew there would be an argument…because he somehow seemed to enjoy it – enjoyed living in negativity all the time.
I felt guilty about the decision for a while as he was (and is) in a worse situation than I am – I was his financial support and his emotional support. But I remember what I was living with and all those years he didn’t care how I felt and I hung on to that. Now I don’t think about how he is hardly ever. I’m lucky as he has moved far away and that makes it a lot easier as I know he just won’t be turning up. I guess I just wanted to say that this time last year, I was miserable and so tired with my life. I never thought that I could have a different future but I made it happen. And I’m determined to make the most of it. So I just wanted to say thank you to everyone on here for sharing their stories, for helping me realise the reality of my situation, for giving me the understanding to realise it wasn’t ME and for holding me up and giving me the strength to keep going when it felt like I didn’t have it in me. It didn’t happen overnight. It took years. But now I feel like I’m living the life I deserve and me and my children can finally just be ourselves. And its amazing. -
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Thank you both for your support and kind words. I hesitated about posting because I know people posting on here are struggling so much and I didn’t want to be insensitive to that. But it did used to give me hope when I read that others had broken free and were happy so I hope to do the same to others too. I just think everyone here is amazing, for surviving each day.
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On bad days I often come on here not for advise I know nobody can really help but I come here for inspiration to read how others got out how they are living the lives they deserve how happier they are. On bad days we need support yes but we also need hope dont ever be afraid of spreading that sweetie its what we all need. Xxxxx
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