A great day 😋

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hello

I’ve been separated from my abuser husband for (detail removed by moderator) now and I’ve struggled so badly ups and downs emotionally and financially (but I’m getting there with the lovely advice from you all)like we all have in the beginning and I’m sure I will again.

But (detail removed by moderator) he sent me an email stating all that I had done wrong I’m a c***t a s**g it’s all my fault he was the best husband etc the usual words and it didn’t break me didn’t hurt me I was so shocked I read it over and over and nothing today I woke happy I’ve spent the day with my parents which I haven’t done in years and its been really good

I kept his email and I just feel like I’ve finally seen him for what he is a bully to put it mildly but I feel strong which is a new feeling 😉 I actual believe I’m doing this finally I can manage alone I can live my life without him and I feel pity for him he bel ieved I would go back would keep taking his abuse would believe his lies and doubt myself like so many times before but somehow the spell has been broken I actually see my future and I’m excited.

I know there will be low days again but I just want to share this feeling keep fighting keep breathing it really does get better. 2 weeks ago I was a mess debating if I should just go back to him I felt weak I felt like nothing. I’m glad I have you all to kick my backside to cheer me on and for that I am grateful you helped me get to this fantastic place I’m happy finally

Lots of love and hugs
Together we can do anything xx

[iwillbeok]

I have goosebumps!! What a brilliant post! I am so glad to hear you are in this position. I was clearing out some old files this afternoon and stumbled across a passport photo of him – gave me quite a start I can tell you! Yes, I know passport photos never show us in our best lights (not allowed to smile etc – my kids look positively miserable in theirs and I wont even mention mine!), however after the initial shock, I was just sat there staring at it and I felt like I was looking at a stranger’s photo – I do not know this man.

I wanted to deface it and add it to the growing pile of his paperwork I was culling but stopped myself with the realisation that I don’t want him to know anything about me. Not my highs, not my lows, no reaction to him at all. Silence.

Yes, there will be down days – but we are on the road to a much brighter future!

Hugs to you strong lady!!

[Lisa]

Hi Finallysomethingclicked,

I am so happy to read your post. I just wanted to say it might be a good idea to report this email to the Police or at least with your Women’s Aid worker. As you get stronger and he knows that you aren’t coming back to him his abuse might escalate so please be extra careful and where you need to please report his behavior. Well done for being so brave and ending this relationship.

We are all here for you so please keep posting.

Best wishes,

Lisa
Forum Moderator

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Hi
Im glad your feeling strong too iwillbeok not giving him the pleasure in your highs your lows in your life is exactly how I feel too he didn’t want to be the man any of us deserve and I’m glad I now want more than what he gave me finally getting there feels great.

Lisa -thank you for the reply I have logged it with the police but I’ve not as yet had any kind of counselling or any help I’ve had a woman from IDAS contact me but to be honest I’ve been in denial and just wasn’t ready to tell anyone all that he did to me I can’t admit half of it to myself but hopefully I will get the strength soon I know I can’t do this alone. Now I’m feeling positive and hopeful and happy I know I need to get my story out to someone so I don’t let him back in and to move on and to stop anyone else ever treating me so badly ever again

😊 Hugs fsc

[danicali]

agree with what the moderator wrote… abuse often escalates when they realise you aren’t coming back…
so… keep EVERYTHING he emails you, texts you, etc and log it ALL with police particularly if he’s making threats of any kind. for him to simply call you bad names in emails may be enough for him to get slapped with a caution, depends on which cops are involved really and how seriously they take it

and… do not reply to any of what he sends you. do not engage directly with him at all. if there must be communication of any kind for any reason, try to use a third party

you’ve done a very brave thing… well done… just stay safe x

[Missssy]

Finallysomethingclicked – that is amazing! I truly hope you are proud of yourself for being so strong and coming so far. May the positivity keep on coming! 😀

[Finallysomethingclicked]

Thank you for the encouragement and I am really proud of myself, never thought I’d feel like this tbh I thought I’d have given up and gone back by now so glad I found this site and you all have been a big part in my staying strong. I’m sure I will look back on this day to get me through bad days ahead but I now know I can and will get there. Love to everyone and hope you all get here soon xx

[Twisted Sister]

thats awesome Finallysomethingclicked. your experience gives hope that this other side can be reached! What a great feeling it must be, and i did also think about the practicality of being safe as your post made me want to make a post of my own about escalating reactions, but then i saw Lisa’s response which said it all. stay strong and safe xx ks

[Author]

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