A home at last

[Woollymammal]

Hi All,

Thank you all for being there.. have a bit of positive news for once…
I’ve got a viewing tomorrow and I’m no 1, pets allowed too..
Yaaaaay..
But saying that, the day I found out, I kept doing little dances at my mom’s.. Then I started to feel guilty as Mr nice guy is, here.. (detail removed by moderator) is my wedding anniversary.. he was really upset I haven’t got him a card.. but I’ve got no money and genuinely forgot, but I’ve still got to get him one for when I go home…
His said ” I love you millions ” in his card, at one time it would of meant something but now I know it’s just words..
Hugs to you all x*x

[KIP.]

He’s had millions of chance to be kind and act like a decent human being. Grab this opportunity. You deserve it. You deserve all the happiness in the world. 👏👏👍

[HunkyDory]

Exciting! Don’t feel bad, did he after treating you badly? Does he know you’re going? Stay safe and keep us posted xx

[Escapee]

Good luck with the viewing! I hope it’s perfect and you get it ok xx

[Iwantmeback]

Hi @Woollymammal, how nice to hear from you, I’ve just came back on yesterday after a time away. Found the forum very triggering for a while but hope to be around a bit more again. That’s over (detail removed by moderator) months I’ve been out. I’m still in a wee flat through WA, have up to a year here to get sorted, emotionally and financially😊BUT I may be nearly ready to move on. While I still stay in the area I see him, every time I see him he keeps on with,but when are you coming back, I miss you, I need you. He’s gone from contrite, to angry, to breaking down, to super nice and around it all again, even gone to councelling but that didn’t last long, until I give in and go back I’ll not get any respite so I’ve added on that I want a pet and will bide my time. Even away from living with them, we still do what we do to survive them. I’ve decided to move away, when that happens LOA will show me the way, it’s not let me down yet☀️
Bestest of wishes IWMB 💞💞

[Woollymammal]

Hi kip, Escapee, Hunkydory and IWantmeback..
Thanking you all as you always help with your advice..
Kip your right he’s had millions of chances and I’ll remember that too..
Hunkydory, thank you, he doesn’t know I’m going, but beens he’s extra extra nice not sure, maybe deep down he does.. but I am scared..
IWMB… glad to hear your back, your all always in my thoughts..your doing fantastic and look how strong you’ve become..
Are you going to get a dog?
So pleased your able to move forward..
Sending hugs to you all x*x

[LozzyX]

Fantastic woolly mammal, keep us posted if you can 🙂

Do not get caught up his messages they are just words… Actions speak louder and all that !

[AlwaysSorry]

Hi there WM,

It’s so good to hear from you, I was wondering how you were getting on. I am so happy for you and so pleased to read that it looks like you have finally found a home for you and your dear pets. How did the viewing go?

He may very well be sensing a shift in you from things finally going your way and perhaps that is why he is playing Mr Nice Guy for now to keep you around and to keep you confused. Indeed, actions speak louder than words so hold onto the knowledge that it’s just an act x

I truly hope the viewing went well and you can settle in very soon and begin a life free of abuse for you and your pets x

[HopeLifeJoy]

Hi Woollymammal

This is exiting, I hope the viewing went well! Do let us know! fingers crossed it was to your liking 🏡
I am very pleased you get to keep your beloved pets with you. You are quite the fighter never giving up, your perseverance will pay off.

Keep us updated okay. Sending you hugs 💕

[Woollymammal]

Hi All, thank you for your replies, I viewed the flat, it’s small, compact but cosy.. I’ve accepted it and collect the keys (detail removed by moderator)
Okay so I’ve been fighting to get somewhere with my pets, got it at last..Then when yesterday felt like I was going to have the biggest panic attack..Thinking about leaving him, how sad he would be, leaving him to pay everything…Why oh why do I feel so guilty??
I tried to speak to my daughter’s, I thought they started to believe me…But no, my youngest said mom I don’t like your counsellor..she said when she gets paid her fiancee has a look at her wages ( but they actually share their money) but I said that’s different to what he does..
She said well you were happy all those years ago ( oh you mean the love bombing) and you all lived with me, and I went everywhere with him!!
Yes mom but you wanted to go she said… but when I was tired and didn’t want to go I had too..
They still think the DA counsellor I first saw when I found out it was Domestic abuse either twisted it or she put thoughts into my head..
I said so if you fiance strangled you and threatened to break your nose it’d be ok,? I said..she said I know that wasn’t very nice..
I should be a little lighter knowing I’ve got a place… but it’s made things harder..

Hugs x*x

[KIP.]

It only feels harder. Our children very often don’t understand. They have emotional bonds to both parents and abuse sometimes becomes normal behaviour. She may also be thinking once you go, he may want support from her. He’s not your responsibility. This is your big chance. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Even the most perfect loving relationships end. Just imagine having your own safe space. You can do what you want without fear. It feels like a huge step, push those feeling to the back and take that leap of faith. It’s the beginning of the rest of your life. And how lovely to have your pets safe too.

[HopeLifeJoy]

Woollymammal sweetheart, these are excellent news! Congratulations! Celebrate this milestone. You’ve made it. Can you believe it!? Here’s to you and a life of freedom starting for you darling!
This is your time now, focus on yourself, your new house and the fact your pets can stay safely with you.
ALL else has no immediate place in your life.
I would say dismiss absolutely everything what’s not YOU, your pets and the prospect of your new house. It’s your time now. You deserve it so much.
You’ve been trained and brainwashed to feel guilty as soon as you are looking after yourself. As soon as you are feeling either guilt, obligation or fear do know it’s down to the FOG your abuser has put you through. Try placing the guilt outside yourself, do not own it! Shake it off!

Have you thought of any ideas on decorating your new flat? What is it you would need to buy etc…very exiting all, I am very pleased for you darling.

Until Keys Handover please keep yourself and your pets safe. I’m not sure but I do think you are still living with him aren’t you?
Could you move out during this weekend already and spend the long weekend over at a friend’s house?
Then you could celebrate together.
Return to gather your belongings together with a friend (or/and the police!).

You could give Women’s Aid a call to inform them of the good news and also asking for additional safety measures before your move.

Sending you strength and hugs keep posting 💕🏡🗝

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