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    • #164656
      Door mouse
      Participant

      I feel so angry

    • #164764
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi Door mouse,

      I hope it is helping to post on here about how you are feeling. It is natural to feel a range of emotions after leaving. Keep posting to let us know how you are doing when you can.

      Best wishes,

      Lisa

    • #164774
      Door mouse
      Participant

      I never want to see their !£$%&(£ faces again

    • #164784
      browneyedmum
      Participant

      Hi @DoorMouse !

      (detail removed by Moderator). I’m guessing you’re in the refuge with your phone and so you’re not able to articulate everything that is going on with you.

      From what I’ve been able to pick up, your family’s been terrible to you. It looks like you sought refuge and haven’t been feeling confident in that and feeling quite scared. New surroundings and having to depend on folks who are largely strangers to you overall.

      ^^^ If I got any of the above wrong, do let me know!!!

      I didn’t have a great time with the family I grew up with. My dad was abusive to my mom and to us (me and my siblings). One time, I witnessed him raping my mum. And then a few years later, my dad raped me. And I told my mum about it straight away, and she chose to keep him around and kicked me out of the house.

      My mum strangely still harboured some idea that I was competing with her for men’s affections… first my dad and then decades later, her new husband (my step dad) … who was like (detail removed by Moderator) years old when I was (detail removed by Moderator). AS IF!

      (detail removed by Moderator).

      (detail removed by Moderator).

      But my life isn’t wasted. I’ve still got air in my lungs and I can survive these traumas which do mark me, but really don’t have to define who I am.

      I get to choose who I am, in spite of all of that.

      And so can you.

      • #164920
        Door mouse
        Participant

        I was sorry to hear of what you had gone through I too watched my mother raped slightest thing triggers me I left home when I was. (detail removed by Moderator) much to my mother’s delight set me up for a lifetime of abuse. I don’t blame I get angry. she stayed with him for a long time he attacked me a couple of time one without any success. Still, I have one accomplishment behind me.Im at a refuge. everywhere I look just reminds me

      • #165011
        browneyedmum
        Participant

        Oh I blamed and I felt anger. I think most of my life has been fuelled by searing anger.

        Anger at my mum. How can any mother choose a partner over her own children. Why do I have to be more adult than you, in making wise choices that supports loved ones? What the hell is wrong with you!?!

        Anger at my dad. How gross are you? What was your problem? (I’ll never know, he passed away some time ago)

        Its devastating. But then also, anger can be a tool. Probably not the best tool, but its gotten me through.

        But you can go on and hit the reboot button on your life. In fact, you can go on to be wildly successful even. I’d share tales there, but poor Lisa would have to come swinging in with loads moderation. I’ve been dealt a terrible hand for life, but then also, I’ve contributed to a lot of great things that better our society.

        You have air in your lungs. You can overcome these. I’m no one special, I’m a survivor. So are you. xX.

    • #164999
      Anonymous
      Inactive

      Being at a refuge is a huge accomplishment. That takes courage, and a life worth living.plz know you deserve happiness and I hope being at the refuge you are able to grab every opportunity at having a life wort living.u deserve it

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