A man I met recently has asked if I’d like to meet up

[SunshineRainflower]

Hi everyone,

Recently I went to an event related to one of my hobbies. I met a man there who worked for the organisation and exchanged details with him in a purely platonic way (sort of like networking).

He seems very nice and my long term friends know him and say he is a really nice guy. Anyway, unexpectedly he has asked if I’d like to meet up to do an activity related to the shared interest, this time just me and him.

It has taken me by surprise, it’s not a date (I don’t even know if he’s single) but it feels a bit nerve wracking hanging out with a man alone, although it will be in a public place. I know very little about him overall.

I would like to make friends with more men (and women) to develop my social life more and if I do date someone in future I’d like to know them sociallly first, as I think you can find out a lot about people that way and weed out a lot of bad eggs.

I’m thinking of meeting this man as a friend but I’m a bit scared and nervous. I’ve been crying a lot each day as it’s not long since I ended my abusive relationship and had to get the police involved to stop him harassing me. I have some PTSD symptoms like anxiety and flashbacks and fear he’ll turn up to hurt me but they are lessening over time.

What do you think? Any advice? I’m such an open person I have told my friends all about my relationship but feel I really need to practice being wary of telling men (even male friends) about it because if they also happen to be abusive it can be like a green light for them to target me again.

Thanks for any thoughts and advice,
Sunshine

[KIP.]

Hey there. I think you’re far too vulnerable and still suffering the trauma of abuse. You’re still crying during the day as you say, I would stick with people who you know and trust at the moment. I promise there will be lots of time to make new friends and meet new people when you are recovered. It would only take a triggering episode to set you back again. Keep concentrating on yourself and your recovery.

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