A message of hope.

[Cantmakedecisons]

Hi Ladies. I haven’t posted for quite sometime, in fact I avoided logging on for a while to take a step back and heal.

I recognise some of the names still posting and some a new members, a club no woman should have to belong to but we find solace and hope from each other.

I was in a terrible situation for a long time. In an abusive marriage for over 20 years. Eventually things escalated from the normal everyday abuse. It ended up being a daily episode. I’ve been hospitalised, drugged, raped, beaten etc etc.

I waited and waited for that line to be crossed and my “enough is enough” moment but in honesty the line kept moving and I lost all perspective of normal behaviours.

I eventually reached out. It was an instant change but speaking to local support regularly and leaning on them when I needed to. I was so worried about confidentiality, that he would find out that I had began to ask for help. I struggled too even talk about anything in particular, any details etc because of this reason. I was convinced that if I spoke the words he would hear them, even though he was at work.

Anyway the reason for this post is to give anyone who needs it is hope!

A few weeks ago I moved into my new home, MY HOME! It’s beautiful, it’s peaceful and it calm. I spent two years in rented accommodation waiting and saving to be able to do this and it feels great!

All my fears, all those worries and what ifs, yes there always there but what if you do take that jump to ask for help? What if you just talk to one person? Those what ifs can generate just that first small step, then another and another and you never know where it will take you.

I never thought I’d be free, I thought I’d be dead before allowing that. In a weird way I do still love him, but waiting for that love bond to end may cost you harm.

I just wanted to say that believe because you never know how the most horrible situations have a happy ending.

[nbumblebee]

Wow. This was very much needed today. Love it.
Thank you and a huge well done x

[Eclipsed]

Thank you so much for sharing this. Much needed today. I’m so happy to read about your beautiful new home xx

[Chocolatebunnie]

Thank you for sharing I understand the moving the line that he crossed too, glad you have a positive outcome and sending you healing hugs x*x

[Hazydayz]

Hello Cantmakedecisions Welcome back💞 Thankyou💗 and well done finding happiness. Hope it lasts a lifetime😊
Hazydayz x

[Eggshells]

Hi hon, So lovely to read your post. You’ve come so far from such a deep dark place. There were times when I wondered if he would ever leave you in peace. He did everything in his power to break you but you came out fighting. You’re an inspiration. xx

[Watersprite]

Bumping this post it’s fantastic news – well done 💕

[Hereforhelp]

I love this ❤
I am also out, for some time and it is so worth it, like you I never thought I could leave my husband I was married to for half my life. So glad I did.
Great Post cantmakedecisions ❤

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