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    • #11002
      martian29
      Participant

      After years of feeling really low about the n********t abuser, I spoke to a woman today who had been through similar and had come out the other end happy and living her life positively. She told me her children have overcome the abuse with lots of therapy and hard work. They are grown up now and have happy, successful lives. They chose to have no contact with the narcissistic abuser and it was the best decision they all made. I realise this is not always possible when children wish to see the abusive parent or the courts make a decision for them.

      She said to me why let him get to you? All that energy you spend daily full of anger and filled with memories of the abuse could be used more positively. She said to use that energy for improving the children’s and your life. She said, he may have got everything financially that was yours but he is the loser in the end. You have the most important thing of all, the love of your children. She said, you have the capacity to love and care for others, empathy and humanity. He has none of these things. He will never truly be happy. She said remind yourself each morning of this when your mind starts to think of him. Use that time you waste with negative thoughts of him for planning what you can possibly do to improve your lives. The best revenge of all is to let him see your children and you healthy and living happy, successful lives without him in it.

      I just thought I would share this with you fellow survivors on here who are still stuck like me. I hope I can stick to her advice. I will probably have a really bad day tomorrow. I have positive days like today and then really bad days when I usually post on here. Wish you all peace and healing XXXX

    • #11006
      lover of no contact
      Participant

      Empowering words. Thankyou for posting and sharing this with us. I’ve copied and pasted the words so I can look at them often.

      I too am a firm believer that the best revenge I can have for what my abuser put me through is ‘Living my life to the full’.

      Onwards and upwards.

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