A positive monent

[Iwon]

I think this is a positive moment. I have minimal contact with my ex by text only to arrange access for our child.

I accept no child support because he has to win… It’s still worth it to get away from him. I the still years on makes every effort to get me to respond by nasty insulting messages from him and his new girlfriend who has clearly been told I am evil and crazy. I have not responded for many years and don’t even really read them anymore.

He was trying to start trouble (detail removed by moderator) and I actually sat down and wrote him a long calm well thought out message. (Detail removed by moderator) I have kept quiet for years because I knew when long long divorce and custody issues were happening he would use any respinse in court to make me look bad.

You can’t criticize him. It flips him out because he is perfect!!!!! I didn’t write the message to have an effect in him. I did it because I put up with so much abuse from him or felt like finding my own voice again and saying to myself. I am a good decent person and didn’t deserve this. You have the problem.

Of course I got the usual barrage Of insults. (Detail removed by moderator)

It’s funny and I understand now so predictable of an abuser. The minute I set a boundary with him he always threatens me taking our child away. I didn’t even bother to respind.

Our child has resided with me alone for years and there is a long term court order that states this. He wouldn’t waste money to go back to court. I have represented myself against him in court a few times now (court detail removed by moderator). 

He never bothered me. No court woukd change it.

Well to the positive bit of my post. My child had a big party (detail removed by moderator). I normally drop our son off and pick up. He used to tell so many lies about me at school gate that I ended up isolated from school parents.

Well this time I stsyed at the party and realised a lot of parents actually like me and want to tell to me.

He turned up and did his usual. Getting in my way so I can’t pass. Staring at me. Standing by himself playing the hurt victim. I don’t ever talk to him as he refuses to be respectful and wants to create trouble.

We stayed really late. Had a great night. Our child was happy. I only sat and thought about it later. I realized I was so engrossed in co creation and having such a good time that I actually assumed he had left.

I realized he liked it when I would hide at these events. Stay in my car to avoid the embarrassment of him shouting.

I am not going to avoid these things anymore. I am not going to allow him to take the pleasure of sharing these things with my child. The days of me hiding away are gone because……. I did nothing wrong.

I am back to no contact and will maintain it. Only way to get free of there toxic poison.

It was worth it to say my piece and I don’t regret what I said in my message.

Before I forgot he was at the party I feel the staring at me and doing e everything to get me to notice him just shows he must feel very small and scared of me to put such effort into trying to humiliate me x

[KIP.]

I remember reading ‘abusers don’t have a problem with their anger, they have a problem with ours’. It takes time to have the strength to face them in public, let alone enjoy yourself while he’s lurking around so well done. I still think your email would have fed his (removed by moderator) side and obviously he completely ignores your comments on his behaviour and focussed right back on yours. Typical abuser behaviour. It hurts them much much more whey they are ignored like the insignificant little people they really are. If they had truly moved on then they wouldn’t want to continue this behaviour. My ex still comes to the bottom of my street even though he swore in an affidavit that his friends were scared of me and so was he. Lying dysfunctional dangerous individuals x

[Iwon]

Hi kip totally agree he would have got something out of it as he does any silky thing he can to engage me.

I will go straight back to no contact and maintain it as I understand he is so toxic and focused on vilifying me that an adult grown up response from him would be like asking Satan to play nice.

That said I forwarded my message I sent him to my best friend and she said well it’s all true and factual and unemotional. I don’t regret sending it because I wrote it for me. For my growing self respect and the realization he is twisted and nasty and incapable of normal xx

I never did anything wrong. He did. Xx

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