A question about safety…..

[Dragon]

In a potentially emotionally abusive relationship, where the abuse hasn’t and isn’t likely to escalate to anything physical, people have asked me if I am safe. Well yes. I’m not being physically hurt, I don’t feel like I’m in danger so yes me and the children are safe as far as I am concerned. This makes me question whether it can be abuse if I am technically safe/not being harmed? Can you be emotionally unsafe? Is that a thing?

[ultimatelyStrong]

Of course it’s a thing. Emotional abuse is dangerous to your health and that of your children. 100%. I always wished I’d been beaten up because that’s easier to identify as dangerous but the more overt abuse is much harder to articulate even to yourself never mind to others. (No disrespect to those brave women who’ve survived physical abuse, and most likely emotional abuse at the same time) Domestic abuse is a broad term and emotional abuse is in there with no implication that it’s less serious as violence. xx

[Dragon]

UltimatelyStrong, have PM’d you x

[Escapee]

Hi Dragon,

Emotional abuse is very real and very damaging both mentally and physically.

And it will affect your children.

Because we don’t carry the visible proof and it has only recently been recognised as DA there are so many women (and men) that have endured this abuse for years to the detriment of their health.

I can’t go in to too much info on here but I’m happy for you to pm me if you want to chat. Xx

[Lavenderrose]

Ultimatelystrong, exactly that it’s so difficult to tell others what’s happened to you. I get all tongue tied when talking to professionals and I don’t come across well.
I probably don’t seem believable at all x

[diymum@1]

i stopped contact purely on the grounds of verbal and emotional abuse. not to be heavey but kids develop pdychological problems at worse turn on you – it affects their relationships with peers and their schooling. it can lead to depression – relationship problems self harm and suicide. its not nice to have to acknowledge this but studies have shown this xxxx its very damaging for kids x

[Tiffany]

My relationship was only emotional abuse for (detail removed by moderator), until it wasn’t only emotional anymore. In the (detail removed by moderator) before I got out I was physically abused, sexually abused, and financially abused. Just because it is only emotional abuse at the moment doesn’t mean it won’t get worse. I didn’t think my emotional abuser would ever do anything worse – until I realised he had. If you can get out before it escalates then do it. Someone happy to emotionally abuse you isn’t going to have any string reasons not to try out other forms of abuse, particularly if he feels he is going to lose you. He cares much more about his control than your happiness. You know this already because of the emotional abuse. That’s enough that he doesn’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. Get out before he does permanent damage, be that physical or mental, to you and your kids.

 

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