A staged refuge

[Door mouse]

Can’t help but feel my stay is staged I know what I have been through, but I just can’t see through the lies that are set before me before that rug keeps getting pulled I hate being branded a liar if someone said you are alone in the world than I can quite clearly see that is the case now! terrible thing to wake up every day and see everyone around you as an abuser or potential abuser I have cried my eyes out today. I can forgive but I just can’t forget I don’t want to be met with the same people just waiting to hurt me all over again the pain and heartache I feel that I have been left with is terrible something that I could of had or should have had I will never have I would never wish anyone the despair that I have endured over the years I am not weak Iam strong and there is only so much abuse someone can cope with, was it abuse I was encouraged to sleep with men 4 times my age at the age of (detail removed by moderator) thinking that it was all normal I’m not taking the blame anymore

[Lisa]

Hello Doormouse,

Thank you for sharing how you are feeling with us. I can hear that things feel quite dark for you at the moment, it sounds like you’ve been through so much and it’s understandable that it would feel very difficult to trust people.

It’s good that you are finding ways to express these feelings, and you’re right, you should not take the blame for what’s happened, abuse is never the victims fault.

Take care and keep posting,
Lisa

[Twisted Sister]

Hello Door mouse

I don’t know if you have read much on the forum that other women have posted, but all the words you say are pretty much the same as everyone here says. The self-blame, the distress, the pain and suffering you have endured, and yet are blamed for!

Hold onto your truth, regardless of how your experiences are denied or presented to others. You know it was wrong and how you suffered. Keep that truth, and strength in your self-belief.

I hope you get more support around you to keep growing your self-belief and strength, to get through the recovery from your experiences.

warmest wishes

ts

[Author]

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