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I have only very recently left my ex, I noticed cracks throughout the relationship convinced my self that if I bite my lip it will go away and that i was the crazy one because I spoke back and stood up to him, I have even resorted in pushing him, kicking him when he tried to corner me and trap me so I could not walk away from situations that might escalate to try get some space. I know no physical aggression is ok. But I got fed up of him starting on me over nothing, then denying what he said trying to say I’d twisted his words and so on. Anyway it came to blows (detail removed by moderator) as he got me in a headlock and nearly broke my neck ( I had not done anything wrong) he just flipped like a switch, my son heard me crying luckily and came down and called the police. I have spoken to (detail removed by moderator) of his ex gfs and a wife 2 of who he had children with and all of them said the same about him. He has tried to blame me and our ‘drinking habits’ although one of his gfs said he never drinked when he was with her, so surely this could not be a true comment? I feel like I’m going crazy. Maybe I brought it out of him. Maybe I’m slightly n**********c? The thing I’m confused about is I have been reading the dominate relationship book from the freedom programme and although most of it sounds like him ‘ the bully, the persuader, the lier’ etc I see a lot of the ‘friend’ and mr right in him also, he’s so charming does everything for me, is loving towards me, doesn’t name call, but he is nasty in other ways, nit picks and nags, Jealous, possessive and controlling. I don’t know what to make of things. His ex described him as the most manipulative man she has ever met
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Have you reported his behaviour to the police? Did any of his previous partners report him. He’s a dangerous predator and he has a history of abusive behaviour. My ex used to blame alcohol but most people drink alcohol and don’t abuse their partners. His abuse was always behind closed doors so he can control it when he wants to. Do you have support from women’s aid. Being with an abuser really messes with our heads. Are you having counselling and your child too? Never underestimate these men. You know it’s not you as he’s done this kind of thing before. See if any of his previous partners would be willing to talk to the police. It may well save his next victim from a lifetime of trauma x
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