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I remember, before o started to try to rise up out of my situation, and he had such control over my steps, what I did, read, ate, etc, that my brain was so traumatised that I stopped being able to think properly and couldn’t speak in any kind of intelligent way. I could barely string two words together. It was like I was brain damaged.
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Dear Serenity, I completely understand where you are coming from. Personally it was very scary for me to be reduced to seeing and hearing things that wern’t there, being lied to and overlooking it and being treated disrespectfully. This all being done with a smile on his face and calmly. I was a mental wreck and would have been sectioned following a police arrest had i stayed. He controlled me, unfortunatly he let the mask slip so I sussed him out and could deal with it. Funnily enough now i feel happy, content, excited about life and getting back to normal.
I watched a video tonight on You Tube, Lisa has deleted it due to copyright but I found it so helpful and hope the women will be able to look at it. The victim was a women who just so happened to meet a wolf in sheeps clothing. She was bright, intelligent, successful and attractive, she had everything going for her.
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Hi Serenity
He was trying to drive me mad, I didn’t be leave myself. I stop having a point of view, caring what I ate etc. As luck was I have to look presentable for work so I kept my appearance up together but is was a case of just going through the motions. I was a puppet and he the puppet master, and though my situation isn’t ideal he no long pulls my strings.
FS xx
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My ex was getting worse & worse, it had to end and I am so glad that he is out of my life. The worse thing was he was quiet, calm and collected, but deadly. It was only 2 or 3 times his mask slipped and I could see the evilness that I was able to handle it. He lied, cheated, stole from me, deceived, manipulated, i could go on and all. All the while I was just being myself, open, trusting, never let anybody that close as i did him.
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It is really unbelievably sick isn’t it. I’m out now and almost over it, i can see how completely damaging it can be. I liked the film Gaslight, you can buy it from Amazon. My ex reduced my inner self worth and self esteem so much. That has never happened to me before. I was alright before I met him, maybe with a few nips and tucks needed. I’m even more alright now i’m not with him. When i was with him i was an emotional wreck and almost sectioned. That must say something. XXXX
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Your right it certainly affects your brain, I too would become so anxious when having to talk to people most of what I would say would be nonsense,
he would frequently tell me I was socially r******d and if we were in a group situation I would always be so terrified Incase the conversation came my way that what I’d say would embarrass me or him.
My friends however assured me I was not socially awkward, but it defiantly didn’t help as I most certainly still feel it.
And that’s just one of the ways he fkd my brain up! -
Just mum that makes me feel so sad what you said. Being terrified when the conversation came to you in case you f**ked up. The fear, anxiety and covert abuse makes us nervous wrecks which is so wrong. One thing that I came to realize recently was that I was ok, ish before i met him. I was completed screwed up and mentally unwell when I was in the relationship. I was ok when I was away from him. Surely that must explain something. It is the abuse and accompanying behaviours such as manipulation and gaslighting that make us so nervous.
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Prolonged abuse reduces cortisol production. This has detrimental effects on many organs and also the brain.
It is also the reason for many illnesses that follow abuse.
The earlier in life the abuse happens the worse the outcome.
The hormone balance is badly affected and physical health damage is often a consequence.I take lots of specific supplements in order to minimize the damage. I hardly have brain fog anymore and my fibromyalgia is again better under control, at last. The blood pressure still causes issues, however gets better slowly.
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