Hi Hazydayz
Your post isn’t a ramble, I have been there and to some extent still there… Abuse completely destroys you as you say your mental health and well being .The straw that broke the camels back for me was his continued accusations about what I was doing (or rather not doing) I just couldn’t take it anymore , it was complete bulls@@t , but his way of controlling me, and in fact he was doing what he accused me of! To add to this there are other aspects of life that have this effect and so it builds into a crescendo where you feel that you are trapped in a room with no way of getting out .. I found t talking therapies very good and you can self refer for them. I am still on meds as well. So again you are not rambling , I totally get it. There is help out there , it’s about getting the right help for you , and I wish you well with that.
Best wishes
Cedarlemon