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    • #170312
      littledove
      Participant

      I left a few years ago just before my daughter was born. He was addicted to drugs (still is), was violent, would punch walls, throw things at me and scream at me. He was controlling and tried to turn me against my family. I left to protect my daughter, he was still given the chance to see her supervised, to see if he could change. But he didn’t, he made excuses to not come out and see her, and would disappear from months and then make up excuses why he didn’t see her. He used her to try get back in my life. He said he’d turn her against me.

      Then he disappeared and got another woman pregnant really fast in their relationship, they played happy families but she also left him and was found he was abusive towards her too.

      Now he’s onto his (detail removed by Moderator) victim, who he has had a child to as well

      They are now playing happy families. People will be thinking he seems such a good dad from photos, and that I’m the bitter ex that’s kept his daughter from him (the lies he spins). I’m sick of being portrayed this way when all I do is protect my daughter from an abuser/drug addict who has never cared for her. I also feel sorry for this new woman and her child, all the children he’s going to bring into the world and treat the same.

      Sorry just had to vent, working through the triggers😓 I know I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks, just had to let it all out

    • #170353
      Lisa
      Main Moderator

      Hi littledove,

      It sounds really upsetting to have him portraying this image of being a good dad to reinforce the lies that he tells about you. Abusers often have this public face while no one knows about the abuse they’re perpetrating. It’s something they use to keep control, telling women that they won’t be believed if they speak up about the abuse.

      You’ve nothing to apologise for in venting, I’m glad you have this space to do so. It’s okay to care what people think too. We live in communities and rely on others. It’s so painful when those who should be supporting you believe the lies and can be frustrating to feel there’s nothing that can be done about it. You can work towards caring less over time but, right now, you do care and it’s hurting you so posting is way you can express that safely. Try to be kind to yourself about what you’re feeling.

      Take care and keep posting,
      Lisa

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