- This topic has 9 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 6 years, 7 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
-
My ex has been in contact with me and wants to wants access to our children.
I have have told him not to contact me but speak to my solicitor.
My children do not want to see him, he has never played the loving father. He never even spoke to them when we were in the same house.
I do not want to pressurise them to see him at all as I believes this makes the abuse they’ve witnessed acceptable.
My solicitor mentioned supervised visits or going via CAFCASS. I’d be interested in people’s experiences of this.
Thanks x*x
-
Hey Citrine
Glad you have a solicitor. Sol has hopefully told you that the view of the court and CAFCASS right now is “contact no matter what”. I’m firmly of the mind that if your ex was a serial killer they’d still give him unsupervised overnight access! Be prepared for the worst.
Be prepared for CAFCASS and/or Social Servs to come into your life, to poke your kids about and judge every single thing you do. Be prepared for them to be forced to see him, regardless of their wishes. Be careful however, not to prejudice their views with your own.
With a bit of luck you might get someone who actually recognises real life abuse, not just someone who did a course on it 3 years ago but has never actually applied the knowledge.
Sorry, I’m sounding a bit bitter here but you do need to be prepared. It isn’t plain sailing and is incredibly stressful. You can totally get through it though. You got through a relationship with him and this can’t be worse!
-
Thank you Eeyore no more, (great name btw) that was my worry.
What I don’t get is if children have witnessed their mum being abused and had to suffer the dagger screaming in their face, show them no love whatsoever, why on earth are the made to see them? I just don’t get it! Isn’t it allowing abuse to be acceptable?
I’m trying to prepare myself for this, but really I so proud to be even in the position, I’ve tried for years to get to this point !
Thank you
Citrine -
-
Please ring Rights for Women, they offer free legal advice and are highly skilled in this area. I often feel like saying if the judges feel these abuser are fit enough to spend time with their own children then maybe the judge wouldn’t mind an abusive psychopath babysitting their child. Same for social services. Ask her if she would allow him to take her kids out. The system stinks so get all the help you can from Women’s Aid to NSPCC to Rights for Women. Hang in there and well done! You’ve taken a huge step and you can remind social services you did it for your kids too.
-
Thank you ladies.
He received my solicitor warning letter (which haven’t mentioned children yet) and he called me I didn’t answer but left a message. He sounded so lovely on the phone.
When does this end? I just want a normal life (whatever that this) not sure how much I can take.
I’m scared he will come looking for me but I know I also have to try and get over that.
This is just the worst feeling ever
X*x
-
Hi citrine, I know how bad you feel but I pushed back each time he violated my boundaries. Talk to your solicitor about a civil interdict preventing any contact from him. Contact is how they play mind games and you have a right to be protected from that. Being lovely is how they hook you back in. Unwanted contact is a stalking offence and you need to protect yourself. Right from the start. Keep his message and any other contact but do not respond. Tell your solicitor you want a court order. If you have told him not to contact you then I would report this message to the police. His harassment will only stop when he knows he cannot get to you and manipulate you anymore x
-
-
-
-
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
