This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  xxxxhelpxxxx 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #69365
     Fluctuating 
    Participant

    Hello all.

    I feel about 2% mean writing and feeling this, but my husband has finally had to accept consequences this morning. I have been financially responsible for EVERYTHING for years now, and this morning he went over his personal account overdraft. He has no way of fixing it – he’s applied for (detail removed by Moderator) jobs in the past (detail removed by Moderator) years (that I found for him, and that he whinged and lashed out about having to apply for) and I haven’t offered him a lifeline. Instead, I pointed out that he had contributed nothing for however many years and that this had caused me to be in financial dire straits at times, which I had always figured out and overcome.

    I am literally walking on clouds at the moment, because there are finally consequences for him. And that 2% of feeling mean is wonderfully outweighed by 98% of feeling “You go, girl.”

    Hope you all have a cracking day x*x

  • #69367
     KIP. 
    Participant

    He’s going to blame someone else for this so watch out for his wrath. They don’t like to be proved wrong. My ex simply moved on without a care. Constantly moving the blame around. Enjoy your victory but be careful of the fallout x

  • #69369
     Fluctuating 
    Participant

    Thanks, KIP.

    Yep, I know it might not last for long, but just him having so kind of clapback feels wonderful right now.

  • #69370
     Iwantmeback 
    Participant

    😉🙂 it’s a great feeling but he’ll find a way of blaming someone for this. I too have been in my od and over it for years, paid so many fees for the privilege. No more, this is the first year in such a long time that I’m in the black, and have savings that he knows nothing about. He’s always got money spare, recently bought a (detail removed by Moderator) yet made me believe I wasnt getting a Christmas present because he was skint. He gave me money , probably was going to anyway, but I think he only did it because I told him I had bought him something and had It before he decided we were not doing presents.
    IWMB 💕💕

  • #69374
     LozzyX 
    Participant

    Yes not wanting to rain on your parade …. But I felt some relief when I thought my husband had finally reached a financial limit ….but he always finds a way and it usually means more debt … Initially it would be turning on the charm for the bank who would then just increase his overdraft , then it was credit cards, then a bank loan and son stories to family to borrow money including my own elderly parents … He even forced me to apply for the credit card for him as it was all online and he is rubbish at it… Surprise surprise it was so he could blame me later on when reality hits and there’s monthly repayments which he says he never agreed to that amount (and so again I had to log into his account to reduce these to the very.minimum)..
    . What I’ve realised is some ppl will never take responsibilty… It’s always someone else’s fault.

    Hope this really is a shake up your husband needs but just don’t go down the same path I have…. Stay strong and leave him to sort his own mess out

  • #69375
     LozzyX 
    Participant

    Oh forgot to say I would also have to give him large chunks of my monthly income .. until I had no savings left and my overdraft maxed out… He’d also pushed his mum to her limit… And that’s when I thought it really would stop… But it didn’t 🙁

  • #70053
     xxxxhelpxxxx 
    Participant

    I have had to bail my partner out quite a few times. He runs out of money at the end of the month and I have to bail him out. I earn about the same as him but he takes home less than me. I pay more on the rent than him. He smokes too much but says it’s his ‘stress relief’! He hasn’t paid me back for the money I lent him last month yet

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

EXIT SITE

© 2015 Women's Aid Federation of England – Women’s Aid is a company limited by guarantee registered in England No: 3171880.

Women’s Aid is a registered charity in England No. 1054154

Terms & conditionsPrivacy & cookie policySite mapProtect yourself onlineMedia │ Jobs

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account