Achieving clarity

[Diverdi]

Those who have left. How long did it take you/did you ever manage to achieve clarity about the abuse?
I’ve been out for some time now. Did freedom programme online and now doing via zoom, read at least 12 books including Why Does he Do that? Power and Control etc.
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I still cannot shake the self doubt and worry that it was all in my head, that maybe I was as neglectful/unlikeable as he made me feel and deserving of the outbursts.
It doesn’t help that I left after a slow realisation rather than an acute event making me leave, and I’ve never been physically hurt.
I’m currently having counselling and have support from an ISVA but still driving myself mad with doubt.

Does it ever get better?

[clarityneeded]

Hi Diverdi well done you on leaving. I’m still with my abuser so I cannot answer your question I’m afraid, however there are plenty of ladies on here who can. I’m bumping your post up because it seems it’s been missed and I really want someone to answer your questions.x

[Watersprite]

Hi Diverdi YES it does get better! It just takes a long time no contact and lots of hard work on your self – reading forums support exercise self care. I get ya for me what my kids went through and the psychological abuse has left the most lasting damage. You will have days of clarity and days of confusion but slowly the clear days outweigh the foggy ones and you will begin to believe your version of the truth. Trust you – you are doing amazing x

[LonelyAs]

Hi, im the same. The self doubt. Think thats because my parnter has drummed it into my head for so long. Your hearing things, dont be stupid, your going mad. If people heard you. Tells me no one like me not even my family that they like him better. So i understand. Hard to get those thoughts out of your head. I havent left yet. Tricky situation. But im so glad you found the strength.

[Diverdi]

Thank you for replies. I find the fact that I cannot rely on my own thoughts so frustrating.
I hope I’ll be responding in the future to say it gets better

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